Fleeting moments.

2007-09-08T18:12:00.001+08:00

I've shifted to a new site.

E-mail or message me on MSN to get my new site! :)

2007-09-05T23:44:00.000+08:00

OMG. I feel so super stressed up. I need to seriously chill. Cos' nothing should make me so super darn stressed. I think the whole juggling 5 modules, 20 hours' work per week, and shuffling between City Hall and Chinatown Point is taking its toll on me.

Maybe that explains the lump at the back of my head.

But you know, I just can't stop working. I wish I can.

It just gets too tiring sometimes. But whenever I think of this, I will think of what kind of unfilial daughter I am.

So yes, I just want to whine. I'll be fine.

2007-09-03T22:54:00.000+08:00

Hey been wanting to blog about Kelley's little princess: Ashley! I think she is so adorable! Even though I haven't met her in person, yet. But every time when I am on msn with Kelley, looking at her msn display picture (always be Ashley) it somehow cheers up my day. Nothing beats seeing a baby being so happy.

Anyway I've been getting more excited about going for the exchange already, though it wasn't my first choice. Suzi and I have been making sub-plans during class, doodling little ideas on our notes.

And I think I was being an dumbass just now when I was talking to my mum. I was saying that if I'm sick she can send parcel full of medications for me. Then she mumbled: Can you don't go? What if you fall sick?

I think my mum is so sweet. Just now I told her got another lump growing at the back of my head and then she rubbed some ointment on me, I've no idea if it would work. And like the one on my neck the other time, this one is growing as well, just that it doesn't hurt. But I've been having splitting headaches the whole day. It's the time of the month. :( Making me so lethargic.

Grrr. Tomorrow is Tuesday. Tuesday is the beginning of 3-day in a row of morning classes for me. Usually by Thursday night when I finish the last class of the week at 10plus, I will be like a zombie.

Sometimes I feel a little resentful of things at home. But at the end of the day, I look at my mum and know who's having a harder time in this house.

Anyway, the good thing about juggling school and work is that I realised I've got no spare time for procrastination.

2007-09-02T23:50:00.000+08:00

I'm a little exhausted from reading all that MA gibberish. Okay maybe not gibberish since its written by 3 PhD holders. I think I just don't have that accounting-ness in me.

I think I tend to appear can't-be-bothered sometimes just so people won't know how much its affecting me. I know I can't be feeling as bad as you are. But its just f-ed up cos' I know I lost a friend for sure.

You know how sometimes pride stands in the way of seemingly logical thoughts.

I just hope you are fine though I didn't pick up that phone to call you to check because. Because.

I know its not the best arguments of all. I could have said a thousand other things.

But its been a long time I feel so detached from everything. Even from my own feelings. Cos' sometimes I don't act the way I feel anymore. Example: I hate accounting, but I am torturing myself into studying it for the past 2 days. Another example: Okay, I decided this is not a good example after thinking about it, so I'm not gonna type it.

Aiya shit. I just feel damn bad the entire day because I know I've let someone down real bad.

But you reminds me of how I used to be.

And although its been so long. Almost a year. This question has still been on my mind: why did you leave?

And anyway, I just parted with 2 weeks worth of hard-earned money on bills. I'm officially broke. :)

2007-09-01T03:04:00.000+08:00

I'm just back from watching 1408 with Jas, Yuting and Weiling. Thought that the movie was quite dumb. It scared me a little in the beginning cos' of the expectations that it was going to be freaky. But then soon I realised its too exaggerating and dumb so I viewed it in a more "comedy" like manner. At least I didn't jump much in my seat.

Got the sad news that I wasn't going to Hong Kong for exchange afterall. I pinned too much hope on it, so much so that I didn't even thought about proper backup plans! And the school offered me my second choice (which Suzi and I had put in as a "make up for numbers" sort of stunt), which is....

Korea University.

Please read THIS to get my honest opinion of Korea when I went 2 years ago.

But after many hours since I got wind that I'm no longer going to HK afterall, it began to sink in that I should really consider and brace myself for the Culture Shock Part II. But also I've managed to come up with good reasons to go Korea Uni (Persuasion 101):

1. I can actually lose weight for that 4 or 5 months. (The food! Please read THIS again)
2. Actually read up Yeefang's (Gillian's) blog on her exchange in Korea early this year and it actually seems fun!
3. I've never seen snow in my life before and this is a very good chance! (If its still snowing next February)
4. I can actually go visit Yuting in Japan when she starts her Japanese course next year.
5. I actually miss the weather in Korea. Beats the heat.
6. Jianxiong and Suzi will be in Korea too, though we would all be in different schools.
7. There's nothing much to shop there (I verified this when I went over 2 years ago, not sure if things have changed). I can actually save much money (at least compared to crazy shopping in HK)
8. Will be able to pick up some basic Korean.
9. Can actually leave Singapore for a good 4 or 5 months! I can learn to be more independent!
10. SMU's academic stress is too much for me to take. And I don't want to not do exchange at all.

So yes, shall go to the OIR (Office of International Relations - or something like that) and get more information.

It's fated. I shall find out more from my Korean profs and the Korean exchange student in my group.

Actually I had this nagging feeling for the whole day that I won't be getting HK at all. It's just a little hard to swallow down. :(

2007-08-28T20:51:00.000+08:00

This is just great, I'm having fever again.

Ah, knew you weren't that great anyway, and I'm not wrong. Irksome.

2007-08-27T01:14:00.000+08:00

Met up with Val, Orange and Junyi last night for Zouk. And Val was commenting that my new hairstyle looks like wig. And I told Yanzu whom I haven't contacted for a while that its actually a wig. And he actually believed la.

I feel so disciplined, actually did my MA (Management Accounting) homework before heading out to meet Wenqi for dinner. But he's damn bad la, refused to watch movie when I'm dying to watch so many shows! :(

It's a start of a brand new week again! I should really catch up with my readings.

倔强五月天

当我和世界不一样那就让我不一样
坚持对我来说就是以刚克刚
我如果对自己不行如果对自己说谎
即使你不原谅我也不能原谅
最美的愿望一定最疯狂
我就是我自己的神在我活的地方
我和我最后的倔强握紧双手绝对不放
下一站是不是天堂就算失望不能绝望
我和我骄傲的倔强我在风中大声的唱
这一次为自己疯狂就这一次我和我的倔强

对爱我的人别紧张我的固执很善良
我的手越肮脏眼神越是发光
你不在乎我的过往看到了我的翅膀
你说被火烧过才能出现凤凰
逆风的方向更适合飞翔
我不怕千万人阻挡只怕自己投降
我和我最后的倔强握紧双手绝对不放
下一站是不是天堂就算失望不能绝望
我和我骄傲的倔强我在风中大声的唱
这一次为自己疯狂就这一次我和我的倔强
就这一次让我大声唱
就算失望不能绝望
就这一次我和我的倔强

2007-08-24T00:23:00.001+08:00

It's been such a long and tiring day. 2 classes and 4 hours of work. Gosh. It's only the first week and already I'm so drained.

And it doesn't help that someone made my day lousy. And luckily I've got friends to unload to. It helps to talk to SK too, after ICB. I must constantly remind myself what he said, don't let someone else determine my happiness! EQ goes a long way.

Like a snail, I may be slow, but I know I will get there someday.

The night class (Equity) was okay, the prof is nice, giving us "mind breaks". And I kind of like the pace of teaching.

But then I'm falling sick again. I'm not made of steel. I wish I don't have so much bills and debts to clear. So yeah, I envy SK's little boy. He rocks.

And then I've decided to dedicate my weekends to pure studying, because I've got no time in the weekdays to do so. So much sacrifices, I just hope at the end of the sem, its worth it. Cos' I've only got myself to answer to. And Monica says I should put in more effort in my studies.

I need to chill. I'm too stressed up.

2007-08-21T23:37:00.000+08:00

Just thought of something very random. It's amazing how much our brains can hold. Even to the smallest details such as where you placed your hair pin or something like that. I only thought about this because whilst I was in the cab last night, from town to home. After travelling vide that route home for the last 17 years or so, I already know the exact traffic light sequence after you exit AMK Ave 3 and filter right towards Hougang.

And I wonder how many other small little details like that I managed to pack in my brain for the past 22 years.

I feel so sorry for Bong. I'm too busy in the day and too bloody dog (pun intended) tired to play with her (or him, my family is questioning the dog's sex, will talk about this later) in the night. And I think she's/he's very lonely, resorting to poking fun at my hamsters. And I'm too tired tonight to bring her/him out for a walk too. :(

Anyway, I thought I saw a little dick growing on Bong, and my parents agreed too. But Bong's supposed to be a female! Okay, I don't know much about dogs and I'm lazy to google it now.

I just wish you can stop pushing me. Relax, chill. I wish I don't have to be so mean. But I want to be firm. Please.

Sometimes I see myself in others. And sometimes noticing the behaviours of others in me, when I was once a spectator witnessing how I was being dealt with. And boy, do I know how it feels.

I know this stinks. I'm really sorry.

2007-08-21T09:32:00.001+08:00

Never ever again will I go KTV the night before a 8.30 morning class. And the alarm I set on my handphone didn't manage to jump start my day! But I managed to shower, blow dry my hair, iron my clothes, put on make-up, feed Bong, pack my bag, grab some food and rush out to the bus stop within 30 minutes! But I'm still late la.

And I got a shock when I got in here for my Ethics class. The David E. I pictured in my mind: young, suave, humorous, soul-breaking eyes. But this one looks like an old (literally) buddy of my good ol' EAL Prof from last sem. And you thought everyone would have retired when they hit 62.

I am damn bad.

Anyway wanted to drop my Industrial Organisation (IO) class after I printed out the notes. So much mathematics! :( But GM Lee is damn nice la. Made me paiseh in class. But already formed a group with Suzi and Chong Geng, so I am going to try to practice my maths.

Met up with Frank after class yesterday for movie. We really watched a locally produced Hokkien Chicago. Okay, we watched 881, because I pretty much watched all the other shows. Some parts were so ridiculous it made us laughed and evoked some "f**ks" from Frank. And we went for dinner at Labyrinth's KTV pub and realised he can really sing! I don't remember hearing him sing so well many years ago. HAHA. We hit KBox after that, which was why I slept so late and woke up late.

And its not fun being late for class, damn stressed one leh. And I want to be a good student this sem! And this is just the first of the 3 morning classes I'm having. One more on Thursdays and another on Fridays. I am so gonna die on Thursdays! My classes are like 8.30am and then I have work at 2pm and then I have another class at 7pm! What a wonderful prelude to smashing good weekends to come!

I'm sitting here pretending to be listening to my prof yakking on when all I want to do is to shit.

2007-08-19T23:53:00.000+08:00

I felt like blogging in Chinese today, but its not reading-friendly.

School starts tomorrow, and like last year this time, my engine needs some motivation to start up, which is lacking.

I had a wonderful weekend. Only to end in dampened mood.

I must have gotten too used to this life.

2007-08-16T02:05:00.000+08:00

Just got back from a drinking session at Dempsey with Jason and his friends, Denise and Alvin. Such a small world! Realised Denise is from SMU too. And they say Jason and I are having a LDR (long-distance relationship). Haha.

Anyway, was washing my face yesterday morning and found a lump on my neck. My mum says it should be nothing and I went to work anyway. But this morning it was still there and it was growing. So got myself to go school to pay my school fees and went to the doctor. And I got a lot a lot of pills to take. :( And if it doesn't shrink, I have to do an xray. But mummy says its nothing serious.

So, good thing is that I'm off work for the next 2 days!

Looking forward to the econs chalet on Friday! But no alcohol for me.

School is starting soon. And I can't imagine how stress I am gonna get this sem. :(

I'm starting to love my haircut, though I hated it when it was just cut. Heh.

Okay, time to go take my medicine and sleep.

2007-08-13T00:31:00.000+08:00

I just cut my hair! Steven, and my own family cannot recognise me.

TA-DAHH...

2007-08-09T17:16:00.000+08:00

I slept half my holiday away! I still have to go work tomorrow. The only problem is: how to sleep tonight?

Met up with Jason last night and we watched Secret. Not too bad, the twist was quite good! I didn't expect it. Anyway, Jason reminded me that the first and the last time we met up was 4 years ago! But Andy still hold the record of being my 7-year long lost friend.

Anyway read Kafka on the Shore yesterday and there was this part that says, we are all born male/male, female/male, male/male (such combinations), and one day the gods are angry or something and cut us up in halves. So now its only male and female. So we end up having to try to find our the other half. If this is true, and only one such person in the world is your other half, then those who already found theirs must either be very lucky or short-changed.

OMG! I still have to work tomorrow. It feels like Friday in the office yesterday. The kind of don't feel like doing much work mood. But I got so bored when I've got nothing to do. Now I know how idling around can be a drag.

I'm looking forward to the salon this Sunday. I want to cut off at least 3 or 4 inches, and maybe cut my fringe off too. I shall see my mood on Sunday. And my blue-black hair is turning brown.
:(

Meeting David for Rush Hour 3 later, I hope its as hilarious as the trailer.

2007-08-08T00:27:00.000+08:00

That things in life are fated by our previous lives. That even in the smallest events there's no such things as coincidence. - Kafka on the Shore, Murakami.

Met up with Ah Boy (Harold) for dinner and we watched Captivity. I managed once again to enhance the threatric experience of my movie companion. Haha, I don't dig such sick shows man. It was the cheap kind of sadistic-typed movie.

Thanks for the company Mr PP! :)

2007-08-06T23:07:00.000+08:00

I finally finished reading The Time Traveler's Wife. And here's some excerpts for thoughts:

"...very few people meet their soul mates at age six. So you gotta pass your time somehow. And she (Ingrid) was very - patient. Overly patient. Willing to put up with odd behavior, in the hope that someday I would shape up and marry her martyred ass. And when somebody is that patient, you have to feel grateful, and then you want to hurt them. Does that make any sense?"

(from The Ninth Duino Elegy, Rainer Maria Rilke):

Oh not because happiness exists,
that too-hasty profit snatched from approaching loss.

But because truly being here is so much; because everything here apparently needs us,
this fleeting world, which in some strange way keeps calling to us.
Us, the most fleeting of all.

...Ah, but what can we take along
into that other realm? Not the art of looking,
which is learned so slowly, and nothing that happened here. Nothing.
The sufferings, then. And, above all, the heaviness,
and the long experience of love, just what is wholly
unsayable.

Writing is a private thing. It's boring to watch, and its pleasures tend to be the most intense for the person who's actually doing the writing. - Audrey Niffennegger

2007-08-06T00:55:00.000+08:00

I keep forgetting that I should dry my hair before I lie down in bed. Maybe not forgetting, I am simply lazy. I will have to bear the consequences of having headaches and runny nose tomorrow at work.

I've been lying in bed, nursing my terrible cramps, with my hair still wet, and reading the wonderful "The Time Traveler's Wife". It's so good. I wanted to finish it tonight, but I left a couple of chapters to read in the train tomorrow (or rather, later).

I was making noodles, with fish balls and hot dogs, over a pot, earlier on with my mum. She was whispering these words when I was pouring the seasonings into the hot boiling water: "Today is your Dad's lunar birthday." Somehow I know that, somewhere in her, she might still have some feelings for him. I wouldn't know. I never asked. But looking at them, the kind of non-existent relationship they are having, is a little depressing sometimes.

I love Sundays. I get to save all the things I couldn't do in the week to do on Sunday. And I'm ambitious. I wanted to do the laundry, watch Heroes, finish reading Time Traveler's Wife and go out for a movie or something. And I only did the laundry and nearly finished the book. And so the rest are rolled-over.

I hope I can fall asleep later. Its the only inconsistent thing about me, falling asleep.

2007-08-05T05:24:00.001+08:00

Flash Point was so good! The fighting scenes just make you want to stand up and kick some asses yourself! Brrr but its not funny having to hold my pee throughout half the show, cos' it would be such a waste if I go to the loo and miss out any parts.

Met up with my extended family for Granny's birthday dinner at Changi Village earlier on. And I had the lousiest shark's fins ever in my life. If everywhere serve such lousy ones, no one need to campaign against eating shark's fins.

I'm still trying my very best not to kena sore eyes from my family members! It's been a week and I hope my system will fight the airborne virus!

Oh I want to faint after seeing my handphone bill for this month, the overseas calls and smses did it for me. Haha. OH DEAR. Who invented auto-roam?

I just found out someone I knew, ate "回头草”. Ewww. Thank goodness I have the great foresight.

No more mess in my life. I need to clean it all out.

I need to start over somewhere. :)

2007-08-02T22:28:00.000+08:00

The attack of the sore eyes! So far, my dad, my sis and my nephew already kena! And its scary cos' it's so swollen and blood-shot! I remembered the last time I had it I was in primary school, and half my family went to doctor together cos' we all had it! But I don't want to have it la, no work means no income!

I'm so happy now that I know! :)

And I went temple at Bugis after I was done at the clinic this afternoon. Went to pray for a lot. And its a "Good" qian. And I'm so impressed with my mum! I went home showing her the pink slip of "lot" and she actually have a book to "jie" (decipher) the lot. And showing the exact wordings in Chinese! Bottomline: I'm supposed to stay out of trouble and a Benefactor is in my life!

I didn't go to work today. Been reading Time Traveler's Wife for most of the day, it's super engaging. Good shit! :)

Okay I shall go read a bit before I head for the bed.

2007-08-01T23:47:00.000+08:00

Ah, besides the dengue, people are having the sore eyes! My sister and nephew are having it now. And I had a super leaky nose the entire day, and I realised many others are too. I hate runny nose, I hate my nose looking like its Rudolf and peeling.

I am proud to say I finally finished off Potter 7! Which left me feeling rather empty. :( I really want to read the entire series all over again, but alas, I realised Book 1-3 as well as 6 are missing! And I don't remember who I lent them to. So its bad debt already. I will buy them when my finance are a little healthier. Mr Harold is supposed to get me a wand wand and I'm supposed to buy him a Pet Pussy for his birthday. Nice.

Just went KTV with Leslie, and 1 hour plus is not enough! K-ster is so much better la! Haha.

I'm reading the "Time Traveler's Wife" by Audrey Niffenegger. Been quite a while that I wanted to get the book and I only got it when I went over to Bangkok. Yes, trust me to buy books even while traveling. For a first novel, I must say its not bad so far! And whilst I was reading, I was thinking how great it would be if there's a movie on it. I can just imagine the scenes, him popping out of nowhere, time travel, meeting his wife at all kind of ages, him mugging others to survive. And anyway, I just wikied it and realised the movie is in the making! I can't wait! I will finish the book first.

My colleagues are trying to match-make me with their clients. It's funny to the point of being hilarious. "So and so is always buying and selling properties!" Haha, and I realised they are only trying to matchmake me with those rich brats. Which I am not interested in. Men with money makes me insecure.

Anyway, its irritating that I've to travel down to the clinic to get my results and not over the phone. I think I'd wait till school starts. But I'm a little less antsy now. I'm expecting the worst and hoping for the best.

To go or not to go? Hmmm.

The tarot reader is right. I spend so much money when I'm bored. I hardly have any savings. Which is why I can never stop working. I crave liquidity.

2007-07-30T00:25:00.001+08:00

It's always nice catching up with the girls and we had a great laugh watching Knocked Up together. The show was definitely hilarious and the lines are pretty witty, many puns as well. And I can't believe they actually showed the vagina! And the show actually got me thinking of relationships (the day to day quarrels and of those sweet moments), of marriage, of pregnancy and about characters of people in general.

Anyway it's a great script. And I like the part where Debbie said something like (I can't remember the exact lines): "People come into each other lives to spot their flaws and imperfections and let them change and they will thank you for it". As contrary to accepting the partners the way they are. And that got me thinking. I remembered having many quarrels and stuff due to this issue. Anyways.

I'm still quite stoned and I think its from the many activities packed last night till this morning. I'm so tired! And its back to work tomorrow.

Was on the cab home after dropping off Pinky and Jas, and I realised there's quite a bit of sound coming from the rear left portion. I wanted to tell the uncle he might have a flat tyre. But I think he must have realised it too, cos' he kept looking over his shoulder (I'm sure he could have seen what's happening to the car by looking back la!). Anyway, after I got off, went to the mama shop to buy stuff, whilst walking home, I realised he was still parked at the side of the road, changing tyre. And he must have drove on that flat tyre for a good 15 minutes or so!

Something random, I really hate inconsiderate people who crowd right outside the train door wanting to get in when people are obstructed from getting out! I think its effing brainless! Today it happened when I was attempting to get off at Orchard station. This teenage girl (and I thought only some aunties are like that) and her boyfriend, and many other commuters were just standing right in front of the door wanting to get in, leaving no space for us to get out at all! And I just stood there for a good moment to let them know I'm pissed.

I'm enjoying my summer holidays so far, and I know I will take a long while for myself to get into the momentum of school+part-time work life once August 20 comes! Actually, I can't wait for school to start.

2007-07-29T07:00:00.000+08:00

I can't believe I stayed up till this late (or early).

Met up with Leroy on Friday night and we watched Vacancy. It's been a long time that I've watched a thriller and it really got me quite kan chiong and I jumped at some scenes! Haha. I should watch more horror films to "train".

And we head over to St James on the pretext of chilling but we ended up at Boiler Room joined by Val and A (haha, I better not name him in case the gf sees). I think I must have outgrew Zouk or maybe its the appeal of something new. I feel strangely at home at St James. Though its so messy I can get lost inside. Anyway, quite guaranteed that there won't be 17, 18 year-olds inside.

Got up feeling so dizzy and made plans with Val to head over Bellini at St. James again, to chill. And around 3am, we (Val, Orange, Leroy and me) headed over to Cineleisure for KTV. Yes, we sang till 6am. Which explains why I'm still up at this hour. We should do it again!

Finally meeting up with the girls tomorrow! It's been awhile we got together, besides the last mahjong session at Mabel's. Watching Knocked Up, hope its good!

I'm still not done Pottering! :( And it's been slightly more than a week!

Okay I go get some sleep now else I won't wake up in time to meet Jas.

2007-07-27T00:31:00.000+08:00

I am progressing so slowly with Potter. Because I only have time to read in the train, and sometimes before I sleep. And I need sleep badly.

Ah, reading is such a joy. Reading Potter is even better! There are some books that are just not engaging, but reading Potter almost made me missed my stops, a few times!

I shall devote my weekend to it!

And now that the last book is out, its about time I re-read the entire collection before my school starts in August.

Met up with Ah Boy (Harold) just now for the Simpsons Movie. And I never watched any Simpsons on teevee before, and now I know why people are crazy over it. It is just so hilarious! It's lame till its funny. I told Boy that the writer is so witty la! Thanks for the dinner Mr Grey-Eyes!

I am so worried la! I gonna hyperventilate soon. Waiting is such a torture. :(

No Spoilers please!

2007-07-23T22:58:00.001+08:00

Oh man, I hope people just stop telling me what's going on in Harry Potter 7! Cos' I'm progressing only a wee bit into it. Like those people who kept posting related things on their nicks on MSN. I should just quit MSN for a while man.

Like how I am going to quit this, this and that. :) I resolve to be a good girl.

I love wearing new clothes. Haha, and maybe its just me.

I did not get my bid for MA, I'm disgusted. People actually bidded well over 50 e-dollars! Rich also not like that la! Give me chance! I want Katherine Yuen! Sigh, I think I shall just make do with the left-overs. Life is UNFAIR.

And if I really can't go exchange next semester, I shall just do work-and-travel USA next summer. But I really want to go HK for exchange! So people, please do not apply to City U k? Haha.

I think I scared the hell out of Kelvin today, I think he must have regretted the smoke break.

I love work. I love going back to work. Though I was so sleepy, work keeps me awake. I am weird that way.

I have so much plans for the future, please do not let it end halfway.

Potter!

2007-07-23T00:46:00.001+08:00

So much for wanting to finish up Harry Potter by today, I just end up doing so many other things. Such as: Sleeping, cooking, eating with mummy and aunt, burning discs for my boss, sorting out my clothes, laundry and what not.

Oh man, its back to work tomorrow. Have been on a break for a week, I'm getting oh-so-lazy!

But I want to wear all my new clothes! I should have a spree before CNY every year to stock up man. Mummy wants to throw out my clothes and shoes, there's just too many! But I still have no clothes to wear. Like those clothes that I want to wear are just dwindling in numbers. :(

I wish I have more time. I wish things always go MY way (ah, I'm just so selfish at times).

But what I really wish now is to have a pint of Hoegaarden, chill under a nice comforter in bed, and indulge in Harry Potter, without having to work anymore. Ah, that would certainly be bliss!

Wishful thinking. After a week off from work, I'm sure I have a lot to do tomorrow.

And Jas nice hairstyle is niceee! :)

Harry, Kim Gary and then more.

2007-07-22T03:17:00.000+08:00

Hey I am so happy today! It's Harry's final instalment out in stores today! Got one which was already nicely cover-wrapped up. Thanks Leslie!

I simply love Kim Gary Hong Kong Restaurant at Vivocity! By far the best HK food I had in Singapore. Those others around in SG are simply lousy. Even the East Coast Road's iced tea has declined in standard. :(

Oh I really hope I get to go exchange to HK so that I can eat all the good food!

Okay, I shall stay out of troubles this year.

I hate hate hate the way things are going. And so, I've already decided on my next course of action. :)

2007-07-19T02:12:00.000+08:00

Hey I finally touched down about 11 plus just now. And thanks to Allan for fetching me from the airport, I just have too many bags with me! Anyway I almost missed my flight cos' I ended my shopping late at Siam Square in the afternoon (despite the cut-throat prices), went back hotel late, took forever to try to squeeze everything into the luggage, and then I got onto a cab late, really late.

I only got onto the cab at the time at which I was supposed to check-in at the airport. And it took forever (about 45 mins) to reach the airport. I still thought I would have a lot of time! Tsk tsk. The taxi uncle sensing my distress decided to speed up! Haha. Running 120 when the speed limit was 80. But I reached the airport on time! At least I managed to check-in, though I wouldn't mind spending another day. I was already thinking of how to get a hotel for the night, getting a flight out the next day etc etc when I thought the jam wasn't going to clear.

Okay it's time for photos! :)

This is the view from my hotel room. Though I didn't open my window often since its rather noisy. All that traffic.

And here's my room! So spacious, and so nice. I miss it already. It just gets way too cold at night.
Anyway I stayed at Samran Place, its so cheap! $37+ a night, with free-lousy-breakfast. I only had their breakfast for one day. And decided to skip the next 2 days.

And one stupid thing about the hotel is that the peep hole is so damn high! It's like almost 1 head higher than me.

To illustrate: even standing on tiptoes, I wouldn't know who knocked and was standing outside my door.

Some random picture. This was my "lunch" on the second day there. I kept vomiting if I ate normal meals. :( Anyway really cheap Swensen's ice-cream, plus the iced tea for only 120baht.

This was what I had for dinner after checking into the hotel after 10 plus on Sunday. The khao pat gai (fried rice with chicken) was terrible. The rice too soggy.

And this was my breakfast on the the 2nd day there, I decided to skip the breakfast at the main dining hall and ordered room service instead. After tipping, this meal costs 200 baht.

My dinner on the 2nd night, pretty delicious!

Some random pictures. This was taken on the way to the airport.

The junction outside MBK and Siam Discovery Center.

On the walk to MBK from my hotel.

This reminds me of the construction days at Khao Lak! Us sleeping at Tap Tawan. Haha.

Roadside stores along the way to MBK. There's a man selling fried chicken there, the chicken skin costs only 10baht!

Train.

On the tuk tuk when it was raining so heavily.

Here's my favourite place in all of Bangkok, besides Route66 at RCA which I didn't go this time.

I had to carry this bag along when I shop at Platinum, and I just buy and dumped them in.

My first day's purchase at Platinum Mall. Damage: $160. Actually was a lot cos' I bought the books.

2nd day at Platinum Mall. Damage: $135

I wanted to go Siam Square after unloading my Platinum's purchase. But it was raining so heavily, I got into MBK, spotted a Toni & Guys Essential Salon, and went to dye my hair. Cost $115 but was rather worth it. I always feel better after a trip to a salon.

Anyway I dyed it Blue-Black again. But cannot really see the color. It just look damn black.

And it's Dunkin' Donuts at Siam Square, not a lot of people in there. Guess there's just too many donut shops there and after awhile the craze just wore off. Look at SG! People in long queues for donuts. I think its kind of overrated for just a lot of flour and some sugary thing on top. Anyway, I don't like or dislike donuts, I'm just not interested.

I bought a pair of slim cut jeans from Pure last year when I went BKK. Though very expensive ($100 bucks for a shop at Siam Square I consider it cut-throat). Anyway I wanted to check out their jeans. And I walked for hours around Siam Square but I couldn't find it. Until I realised it shifted to somewhere else in Siam Square (behind Toyota). And to my dismay, they now only sell men's clothings. :( Bummer.

Today on the way to Siam Square, I dropped by this restaurant, where we had our first meal the last time I came with Jas and Co. Because I simply have to have a glass of Thai Iced tea before I head back Singapore!

The wonderful iced tea!

And I had curly fries with Root beer at A&W for snacks.

And finally, whilst walking back to hotel to pack, I bought a pack of chicken skin for 10baht. It was so good!

And here's the mess I made of my room before I started packing.

And I managed to squeeze most of them into my luggage.

I came with only a single piece of luggage.

And went back with more. Haha. But did not exceed!

Was in the cab, damn kan chiong, scared I can't make it to airport in time!

But I made it in time! Still got so many people!

Okay that's all for the photos. I bought so many necklaces, I'm so happy with them. Surprisingly I only bought 2 pairs of pumps and no bags. And seriously, I have no idea how I busted 2 weeks' of pay within 4 days.

Alrights, I shall go unpack a little now.

2007-07-17T16:03:00.000+08:00

Hey! I'm taking a break from shopping again. My feet aches, my shoulder aches too from the heavy duffel bag I've been swinging over my shoulder.

Anyway I couldn't be bothered to wake up for the free breakfast at the main dining room this morning, so I just ordered room service. I think the staff will love me, cos' I've been tipping damn a lot.

Last night I caught Speed on teevee. At least there's decent movies. I watched it halfway and went for my scheduled online chatting session. And when I woke up this morning, I switched on the teevee and they were showing Speed again! I'm so happy la. I don't remember watching the movie before. So I finished the movie and went out for the day. And yesterday's Tuk-Tuk chap was waiting for me outside the hotel. And he brought me safely to Platinum Mall yet again, not before complaining "Going there again?!"

And I overheard 2 caucasians saying that they got fined 2000baht for throwing cig butts! Oh man. Therefore...

Anyway I felt like I'm a wholesaler, I went in to Platinum and just GRABBED. I didn't even bother to bargain. And if there's anything nice and below 50 baht, I don't even bat an eye when I paid for it. I'm a goner. And now I'm broke. I busted 200sgd so far. So much for retail therapy.

I had fever last night, and a huge elephant-stomping headache. Lucky I brought panadols along. Else I'd be lying in bed today, feeling sore.

Time flies! I will be back tomorrow night. But I'm starting to miss Bangkok already. I don't mind migrating to Bangkok in future, but I think I will start to get bored after a couple of months.

My plan for the rest of the day: Go back hotel to unload my bag, shower, and head to MBK area for contact lenses and dinner. I will conquer Siam Square tomorrow before I head back to Singapore. And I guess I won't be going Suan Lum night bazaar at all. Since it's rather unsafe for me to be out that late.

Thank goodness I got my bids for Game Theory and Ethics. Besides MA, I don't know what else to do if I can't get BSM. Okay, I shouldn't think about school while I'm here.

Anyway! I want to say, travelling alone isn't as lonely as I expected it to be. I kind of like and enjoy the freedom of it! :) So Peiling, its true, its fun in a different way!

And I noticed how my hotel inflated the internet charges! I'm paying 40baht for 2 hours of usage here, and the hotel charged me 160 baht for 2 hours last night. I'm just so frivolous.

Grrr, I'm having headaches again. And back aches. And shoulder aches. And whatever-aches.

I'm getting a wee bit hungry, I think I will track back later to get A&W back to the hotel.

Ah, I can't wait to buy more things!!!

2007-07-16T16:35:00.000+08:00

It's been good here. I woke up late but made it in time before the breakfast closes, but still was chided by the waitress. She wants me to be there, earlier. I barely woke up when I went for the breakfast. And one glaringly obvious thing was that services to those caucasians are definitely better than, to me!

Maybe I should rewind back to last night.

My flight was delayed for almost an hour. After touching down, I grabbed a taxi. And I had to give the driver the directions to my hotel. Haha, I feel like a local la. Reached my hotel rather late and managed to get online but couldn't blog at the terminal there as there wasn't java support.

Anyway, got on a tuk-tuk (as recommended by my dear Tarot reader) and went to Platinum Mall to have a spree! I busted 300sgd so far. OMG. I need to hibernate for the rest of the day else I won't have money to shop at Siam Square for the next 2 days. But definitely heading back to Platinum Mall to shop again tomorrow. The clothes are just unlimited! I bought so much that its a chore hauling my purchases around.

Which explains why I stopped by this internet cafe to have a break, before taking a long walk back to Samran Place, where I intend to rest for the rest of the day. But before that, I want to find a bookstore to buy some books to accompany me in the hotel. The tee vee channels they have are a shame. I suddenly miss watching Channel U, 8 and 5.

We always miss what we no longer have.

Anyway I saw this show "A Date with Drew"on teevee last night before I unconsciously seeped into dreamland. Here's a quote from Drew Barrymore. "If you don't take risks, you'll be having a wasted soul". I believe that's meant for me to see. If coming alone to Bangkok isn't taking a big risk for me, I don't know what is.

And was reading Murakami on the plane. This passage struck a cord in me.

"So that perfection could swallow imperfection and make it whole. To me, love is a pure idea forged in flesh, awkwardly maybe, but it had to connect to somewhere, despite twists and turns of underground cable. An all-too-imperfect thing. Sometimes the lines get crossed, or you get a wrong number. But that's nobody's fault. It'll always be like that, so long as we exist in this physical form. As a matter of principle." - Murakami, Dance Dance Dance.

I've learnt to let go of my past. Yesterday is already over and done with. Nothing can be undone. I gonna learn to live with it else I'll be imprinting regrets all over my head. All I do feel is sorry. Sorry for myself and for hurting someone else. But I already forgave myself after thinking it through the plane last night.

I can justify myself to you, to anyone. But that's never enough for you. Cos' its what I feel, which you won't be able to swallow down, digest it, maul over.

I don't feel a lot of loneliness here. Which I supposed I should. I feel happy sitting at the sidewalk earlier on, having Swensen's cheap Chocolate Crunch and sipping my iced lemon tea. I feel happy shopping alone, going into stores I want to go to, try on clothes, not having someone telling me, "they all look the same to me." I enjoy sleeping alone at my own time. And ordering room service when I feel like it, cos' it ain't pricey. I enjoy taking those long walks alone. I guess I am slowly starting to get used to this solitary life. Just like what the tarot reader pointed out.

Okay, right about time for me to continue this happy-solo walk. :)

2007-07-15T13:39:00.001+08:00

I'm leaving for Bangkok in few hours' time, and I haven't pack. Can't seem to get myself to go pack some clothes.

Nothing is holding me back to still stay here. I need a break to think things through. Think about my life and choices I made or are making. Thanks to everyone for their concern! I will take care of myself and let's meet up when I get back. :)

I went to the Tarot reader yesterday. It was, well, some bits expected and some took me aback. And some made me question myself a lot. And of course, about time I reinvent my life, the way I do things and decisions I make. I need more faith, and positivity in my life! She said I'm moody and temperamental, which I already know. Well, and many other things. Never ever bring your partner to a reading with you! HAHA.

Went to Zouk last night with Allan and friends, I conclude that I no longer like clubbing anymore.

Asian Boys Vol. 3 was pretty good, but some of the dialogues are so draggy it makes me feel antsy.

Why does it always rain on me? Monica (the tarot reader) said its gonna be a tough year for me, I'm supposed to keep out of troubles!

I had a great night, thanks.

And dear friends, see you when I get back. :)

2007-07-14T04:35:00.000+08:00

Watching 1 Litre of Tears. I probably already teared more than that.

Anyway if you haven't already heard of the show, its a dorama (documentary-drama) about Aya Kito. She was 15 when she was diagnosed with Spinocerebellar Degeneration (or Ataxia), means the part of the brain that controls her motor movements, speech and mostly what daily tasks she need to perform, has degenerated. Meaning she is unable to do simple task like walking, talking and eating.

Anyway there's this part in the show which really moved me. This guy who is her good friend who always stuck by her, was trying to relate his feelings to her. And this was what he said:

"If you wish to speak, no matter how much and how slow, I will still listen.
If you cannot talk on the phone, I will just meet you in person.
If you wish to take a stroll, no matter how slow you will be, I will walk with you.
Even though you can't depend on me now, there will be one day I would be of help to you."

And he ended off by saying, "I think I really like you".

At that moment, I was thinking, "That's it". Maybe that's what should be all along. I always think that I'm never good enough for anyone. Cos' of my temper, my moods and many other lil' things that irritate others. But I know, one day someone will be able to accept me for who I am.

:)

I appreciate all the concerns about my BKK trip, especially Jas. I want to say, I know its not safe, and I might be in danger. But trust me, I will take utmost care of myself. Let me gain some experience and probably let it be a turning point in my life. I need to be more independent.

I'm a little excited, a little sceptical, a little worried. I trust myself to take care of myself there.

So please, trust me. I really don't want to upset or make everyone worry, but yet I'm selfish, I really want to go. Just let me have this indulgence once, and I will bear all consequences.

Life is so short, let me have this lil' memory to hold on to in future yes? If you see me or talk to me on MSN, please don't mention anything about my BKK trip anymore, my mind is set. Don't make me waver or add on more worries and pressure to me. Just this little request.

It's Asian Boys Vol. 3 with Jas, Val, Austin and Orange tomorrow. Let's hope its good. And I'll be going to the Tarot reader tomorrow. I'm pretty psyched up. :)

2007-07-12T15:53:00.000+08:00

I cannot pinpoint which was the weapon used to cause my diarrhea and vomit this early morning. Either the salad which already turned bad when it was sold to me during lunch yesterday, or the ABC juice (Apple+Beetroot+Carrot) I had last night with Allan, Leslie and Qingwen at Simpang.

I'd rather have constipation than to have diarrhea la! :( One good thing is that I get to stay home, sleep on my bed and watch 1 Litre of Tears on my lappie, not forgetting a big box of Beautex 3-ply tissues. Plus plus the Royce's bitter chocolate which Angel (Shaun) got for me 2 days ago. Royce's chocolate is just so yummy!

Even though I'm still having the cough.

The Bangkok trip is giving me so much problem. And I think I will be going alone after all. Anyone willing to drop everything here and buy a ticket to go with me this Sunday till next Wednesday?

Anyway, this teach me a lesson on who I should or should not plan advance trip with. The other time I went China with CK and Weibo also no problem! Okay, I think I'm partly at fault anyway.

Okay, I'm back to more crying and tissue. Amazingly, breakups doesn't cause me to cry anymore, whereas this Jap dorama did!

2007-07-12T00:07:00.000+08:00

Thanks to CK for lending me 1 Litre of Tears! I just finished watching the 1st episode, am so addicted I think I can carry on watching, if not for the fact that I still have my exchange application to do. And I have to wake up early tomorrow. :(

Anyway, was doing the online application for my exchange, and there's this part that I need to state my international travels history. Country, duration of stay and purpose. And I came up with all these recent trips.

Bali, Indonesia. 4 days, holiday trip.
Siem Reap, Cambodia. 2 weeks, voluntary service learning mission trip.
Jakarta, Indonesia. 1 week, Chinese New Year visiting.
Korea. 1 week, holiday trip.
Hong Kong. 2 trips, 6 days, holiday trip.
Shenzhen, Guangzhou, China. 1.5 weeks, holiday trip.
Phuket, Thailand. 2 trips, 4 days, holiday trip.
Khao Lak, Thailand. 2 weeks, SMU's Project Shelter for Humanity 2.
Batam, Indonesia. 4 days, holiday trip.
Genting, Malaysia. 2 trips, 3 days each, holiday trip.
Krabi, Thailand. 4 days, holiday trip.
Bangkok, Thailand. 2 trips, 4 days each, holiday trip. (haha, counting this Sunday's one)
Johor, Malaysia. A few trips for holidays.

I think my most fun-filled holiday was the first trip to Hong Kong with Jas and Val, plus Sam and Ben. We really had lots of fun!

And the most memorable one was probably Korea. Nice weather, though the food sucks.

And the most tiring ones are my service trip to Khao Lak and Cambodia. But those are also one of the better time of my life. Made me reflect so much. And made me miss home too. Actually, I do miss Cambodia, those days, I don't know how they passed so fast. I wouldn't mind riding a manual scooter again!

And I realised, I haven't venture out of South-East Asia recently! Thought I could do it during exchange, but well. Decided on Hong Kong, Korea or Barcelona. Let's see how everything works out.

Alrights, its time for bed. But before that, want to thank Allan for the sweet lil' present. :)

2007-07-10T00:48:00.001+08:00

With some help from Leslie (Ahboy the 2nd - hey, Harold Yuanqing is the 1st), I am going to blog today, despite being super tired. And this is totally not my style. And I had to censor a lot of parts! (Below are Leslie's work, with some amendments from me.)

Shucks, it’s a Monday morning again. I had to drag myself to work. (This part you wrote something which I cannot publish cos' she might be reading!) I had Lor Mee for breakfast and somehow it reminded me of that adorable and cute la bi xiao xin look-a-like ah boy while I was rummaging through my meal.

I’m still coughing myself to death today; strangers would have thought I’m a TB carrier of sort. Well it was certainly a busy day at work, getting yelled at from clients and what-nots. Not to mention that SOMEONE was pissing me off the whole day with his antics/sarcasm.

I went to school met up with Suzi and got on to do my exchange planning with her in the library. After hours of mindless thinking, we finally decided on fashion culture, basic cantonese, life choices in a modern world, and some others econs and finance modules.

Muahaha, we came up with a “plan b”! Should the HK exchange be not successful, then we are going to Korea!! (The exclamation marks are plain wrong, I do not like Korea). Over there, we’re taking this new module offered only in collaboration with Mei Yan:

SOCS101 Shopping in Korea
This course takes the classes out into town. Learners will find that after the course they are better able to cope with the stress of choosing clothes and being the first in line for sales. 100% Coursework. Learners need to bargain for the cheapest price in order to pass

Hey hey hey!! I’m so excited and cant wait for next week to come !! I’m going to Bangkok my dear friends!! After much procrastination and persuasion, the trip is officially confirmed!! Best of all, I’m not working the whole week!! (HAHA, I didn't know he thinks I'm that excited).

I wanna watch this show “Ichi Ritoru no Namida” - (1 litre of tears). This story revolves around a girl who was diagnosed with a disease called Spinocerebellar Degeneration when she was 15 years old, and was able to continue her life until her death at the age of 25 years old.

The plot is based on the true story of a Japanese girl named Kito Aya, who had the same disease. She kept writing in her diary to remember her experiences until she could no longer hold a pen.

Aya simply wished to live until the end of her life, and the purpose of writing in the diary was to remind herself to not give up. She shed tears many times, at the same time encompassed by the rich love and support from her family, friends, and boyfriend. Her diary “1 Litre of Tears” was published after her death, because of its inspiring and courageous message of, “Just being alive is such a lovely and wonderful thing."

Anyway it has been a rough day for me today; I’m like getting pissed-off half the time from you-know-who.

2007-07-08T00:46:00.000+08:00

It sucks to have fever, the night before you have to attend a wedding. But I got off work earlier to rest, but I can't break a sweat while covering myself up under the comforter.

Anyway got up at 5.30am this morning, drag myself out of bed, put on the dress, lots of makeup and head to Meiling's house to extort the hubby and brothers. But I didn't really do the extorting since I was cooped up in the room with her. I told her some "superstitious" things like:

1. Don't look down when your husband lift up the veil!

2. Try to step on his feet.

And then the brothers themselves have a set of rules of what the man shouldn't do:

1. Hold up the end of the skirt for the wife

2. Carry the shoes for the wife

And the "brother" was rather vehement about that, making such a big fuss when he helped my friend with the skirt. I "interviewed" him much later and he told me that "it's sad knowing what's gonna become of him in 10 years' time.

Oh well. Perceptions.

But anyway, thank goodness this time the angbaos from the wedding is bigger! At least cover a little of my "cost" haha. Anyway, congrats to Meiling and William!

And they are the most comical and loving couple I've met la. The lunch reception at Amara Hotel was pretty good, if not for the fact that I was having fever and vomited most of the food out.

Met up with Ahboy after that for his little shopping at Sim Lim before I met up with the Econs people for Dewei's play at NAFA. Boy, I thought it would not be that great since it was a Secondary school production, but how wrong I was! It was so funny and nice la. Definitely better than some professional plays I've been to.

Okay, I'm half-dying from my fever and runny nose. Off to bed!

2007-07-05T23:50:00.001+08:00

Just back from Die Hard 4.0. It wasn't too bad, love the actions and fast-paced plot, and the witty lines. And yeah, I don't actually have much bad reviews for movies. Except for shows like Tenacious D, We don't live here anymore, Babel, Pirates of the Carribean 3, and maybe more. The rest of the movies I've watched have been just nice.

Anyway, I just want to say.

There exist a certain kind of person, or rather animal (depending on how you see it). They move about in our society in different forms and manners. Usually they are really nice before you scratch past the surface and see what goes on beneath. But unfortunately, sometimes it takes a lot before you see the true color. And bam! Before you know it, it just hits you. They can just seep into your system and knowingly or unknowingly, destroys your day, before it even began. Some of them are rather good. But some just can stoop so low, you don't know whether they can drop into an abyss of nothingness. Anyway, some of you may recognise this special group of persons. They are otherwise known as: The Ex-Boyfriends.

I've met some pretty decent ones. But some, and like the subject in question which managed to fuck up my day, are pretty low. I didn't know they can sprout some few liners which makes you wonder, what did I see in him in the first place. So I say, my bad.

And never never never irritate me especially when I got up late for work. I can be a right bitch.

And sorry to Jas, you know I will never intentionally try to step out of line. Hugs.

Matters of late are overwhelming me. I'm tired, exhausted, feeling a little down. But the sad thing is, I try to cry to make myself feel better. But the tears doesn't come. And after awhile I will feel like I'm alright. And then the next day it happens again.

Like the fact that I wished things didn't happen to my sis, and how I don't know how to comfort her. How the whole Bangkok thing became such an issue, and pissed so many people off along the way. And how I wish my health is better, and not feeling like I want to black out anytime.

And how I wish at the end of it all, a nice warm hug would make wonders.

Whatever happened to simplicity?

2007-07-04T23:57:00.000+08:00

I hope she will get better. I want that f***er to go in jail and get ass-f***ed for years!

So I spent the whole of last night at the police station, waiting and waiting. Waiting and more waiting. And I can't go to work today as well. I'm so tired. Anyway, thanks Steven for coming down for awhile.

I got up so late today, feeling so stoned. Met up with Andrew for a cuppa coffee. Then had dinner with David before going to meet Ahboy for drinks. Dempsey Road is pretty nice! Anyway it was good catching up with friends. Which just goes to show how much I don't need restrictions, friends are better company anytime.

Finalized my Bangkok trip. And pushed it forward a little, I really need a break. Thanks Andrew for volunteering to go with me. I wouldn't mind going alone if my friends didn't tell me things like: "You gonna get raped!", "They gonna chop your hands and legs off and put you on the streets to beg".

It's Meiling's wedding and Dewei's play this Saturday. I'm quite excited for Meiling! Oh man! She's getting married! I feel so old already. Anyway I heard jie mei cannot do too many times, else I won't get hitched! So girls, I'm left with 1 more slot, hitting the quota soon. But please invite me as guest anytime!

Camwhoring today at Dempsey:

2007-07-02T23:15:00.000+08:00

Oh man I've found another 2511 kaki! But a lot of years apart.

I am so drained.

2007-07-01T23:36:00.001+08:00

It suddenly dawned on me that, this is it. And after going one whole big round, I'm back at where I was. It just made me learn to trust my instints. Its funny isn't it. Knowing how it would turn out, before it eventually happened.

It is just bloody irritating that I've already changed my plans for the Bangkok trip twice, and now I've gotta go alone. Alone. When it should have been the two of us. Just tell me how not to hate you?

Pretend you're happy when you're blue
It isn't very hard to do.

Its all black and blue.

Thanks Allan for the picture.

2007-07-01T14:34:00.000+08:00

And then.

Remind me never to rearrange my time around a person in future. Because in the end, I'm still going alone. To Bangkok.

It's bruised. Its all black and blue. I can only be happy that it wasn't long enough for it to put a hand in my heart and give it a good twist and some irreversible damage. Just give it some time to cry.

Never judge a book by its cover, you really got me fooled. And I won't be surprised if you go back to her.

This is called Karma my dear Meiyan.

2007-07-01T04:11:00.000+08:00

I'm addicted to a song. An old song. Not old, but definitely dated.

If I stopped lying I'd just disappoint you.

So glad I didn't spend my Saturday, moping around, being paranoid and stuff as such. I shot some balls with Frank in the noon for a bit, went for the NDP combined rehearsal at Marina Bay with Jas and Steven. The view was great, the planes and boats were solid, but the performance just flat out disappointed. And I ended the night with Transformer! It was soooo darn good! So funny and action-packed. Love Bumble Bee!

Anyway, I don't disappoint anyone by what I do. I just want you to know that, don't judge me, because you don't know me at all. There are decisions that I made which you may not see eye to eye, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong. You just don't have to agree with them.

I have decided to quit clubbing. My health just can't take the whole night long.

And in the end I yielded to the emotional blackmail. I just don't think there's a way that this is gonna end up not hurting anyone at all. It does hurt a little. I think its a little bruised. Really don't want to go down the same route again.

And so I'm back to hibernating again. Watch me come undone. :)

2007-06-26T23:37:00.000+08:00

Its difficult to say how I feel. I'd rather be indifferent. Its just terrible having to act like it.

And I know I can make way, anytime. I just don't know how it would feel when it really goes down that route.

And finally, I can now go sit down at the roof of Vivocity, looking at the cable cars criss-crossing from Mt. Faber to Sentosa to Vivocity, and say, I've finally sat in one of those before. Hey, I dig spontaneity. And I like just sitting around doing nothing at all.

I miss miss miss those lovely carefree days.

And I realised its terrible having nothing to do. I've got so much free time at work that I'm finding things to do. It's either I'm more productive, or there's really not much work.

I don't know how many 5-minutes I have to spare, but I must have wasted lots of them away these days. And I've found no reasons to stop, though there's many I know.

Its hard to say what's going on in my mind. Maybe Val put it aptly, we all put on a front. And for me, I just want to be a bigger person. That's why I say the things I said. Though its making me a little, well, just a little, too ... okay I can't find a word to describe.

Eh, I just want to say. Mt. Faber renovated their toilets, its spanking new and really nice! :)

2007-06-25T23:22:00.000+08:00

Hey I'm getting better at this. I think.

Been coughing up a storm in the office today, I got irritated with myself for the cough, I know my colleagues are too!

Been years since I last played snooker and I realised I am still pretty okay with it! :)

Eh I have so much plans, but I realised I lacked some self-motivation. That something deep within me to give me a slight push, a nudge.

My mister is going "overseas" for the next 2 days. And I can havoc already! HAHA. I'm just kidding. I am going to miss my we-do-everything-together buddy.

I want to get a new phone. But Bangkok first.

PSP is damnit addictive! I want one too!

Alrights, bedtime bedtime! Precious moments of mine!

2007-06-24T19:54:00.000+08:00

Pretty happy that I've accomplished much this weekend. My virus is almost cleared, satisfied by my retail therapy at Vivocity yesterday and even played badminton with Weisiang's 2 kids earlier on. Oh I realised I'm better with the racket and shuttlecocks now.

We watched Pursuit of Happyness last night. Watching it again makes me rather motivated to really get started with the Meiyan's summer refresher course on Finance, Mathematics and Statistics. And I haven't really started on my research on my exchange trip.

I went for the exchange talk last Friday, despite feeling super duper dizzy. Only to find out that Prague is closed to me! :(

Okay dinner calls. Later.

2007-06-21T20:07:00.000+08:00

Really down with a bad bout of flu today. I don't know how long I've been sleeping in my bed, but it must have been more than 18 hours. It got a little too tiring to sleep so much at one point that I brought Norwegian Wood with me into bed. I like that warm fuzzy feeling which I get curling under my thick comforter. And it was just bliss having a nice read to fall asleep to. But I did not fall asleep while reading, 'cause I wanted to get through the whole book to the end.

I very much prefer South of the Border, West of the Sun. The straightforwardness and possibly some reality to the story as compared to Norwegian Wood. Though I'm still puzzled by why the author likes to keep me hanging in the air. I want to know what happened to Shimamoto! I want to know if Watanabe and Midori will work out.

Anyway, while I was reading Norwegian, I applied some of my psychology knowledge to it. That Naoko won't kill herself when she's depressed, she's doing it after she's feeling better. Okay that was damn random.

I've got cravings for fried chicken now. Which is damn bad, because I think I'm too sick to eat it.

I can't wait to get my hands on the most anticipated book of the year! I waited 2 years! Harrrrrrry Potter!

2007-06-20T21:29:00.000+08:00

Oh man, the pills the doctor gave me just made me constipated. And the more constipated I feel, the more I know toxic are not flushed out of my system and the sicker I feel. And the funny thing is, I don't want to not go to work. I took an off day on Monday and funnily, I missed being busy working.

My friend commented that I'm probably one who believes in fairy tales. My horoscope of the week said that I'm am gonna discover how complex my thinking and personality really is. And strangely enough, these few days I've been thinking of the fairy tale theory explanation of my attitude towards relationship. I've been entertaining the idea that possibly, it is just partly true.

I think I've never told anyone before. And maybe I only just discovered this. In good and bad ways: I've discovered that the best part of relationships for me, is the stage even before falling in love. The "ai mei" (admiration, a lot of guessing and waiting) feeling. Which really means that when a present is unwrapped and everything is left on the open, it sometimes just get a little stale. Which is why, I always love spontaneous trips, exploring unchartered waters, trying new things and activities et cetera with the partner over time. It just adds adrenaline and inject new sparks anytime.

And why the fairy tale theory is flawed, is possibly because I don't believe in happily ever after, at least not the fuss-free way, not without actual efforts.

But I'm happy with Weisiang, not disputing that. :)

2007-06-13T23:56:00.000+08:00

Cross my fingers and hope it's nothing bad. Had to talk myself into going to the doctor just now.

My mum was saying not to go Bangkok cos' its not safe, and I already got the tickets and hotel settled last night. I still want to go! And looking forward to it! And like I told my boss, I need to destress! :)

Murakami! Can't get enough of it.

2007-06-12T22:52:00.000+08:00

Am hooked on Murakami. I was just making comments to Harvey at Borders some weeks ago while we were browsing, I said that translated stories sometimes take away certain way the author wants to protray some stuff. I do realised some differences in how South of the Border, West of the Sun was narrated, and to the Norwegian Wood. I'm just a little into Norwegian Wood, but both books gripped me in many ways.

A little poignant.

I think South is the kind of book that will struck me in different ways, read at different stage of my life. I will read it again in 10 years' time.

Just wasted some monies changing the dates of my Bangkok flight. But even if I have to go alone, I wouldn't mind. Not that I am going to go alone of course. Weisiang booked the same flight out with me already.

I know it can never be perfect. With some pessimistic comments made to me recently, I've decided to forge ahead with my own instints. They have failed me in the past, but sometimes the character itself has more to do with past failures. And I am not perfect either.

Work has become monotonous now that I've grew accustomed to the work and work style of my boss. Somehow the same amount of workload seems a little less daunting. Which is how I supposed life is supposed to be. Changes, adjustments, and it becomes just a part of you.

It scares me how fickle I am sometimes. Which is why I hate planning ahead. And maybe that's why I'm always circling around the same ol' spot. I need to find that little crack in me, seep through it, and embrace what lies ahead.

I'm in a total nonsense mood today.

Window Vista rocks! I want one too!

2007-06-10T05:55:00.000+08:00

But never at the West of the Sun.

2007-06-07T23:39:00.000+08:00

I've been swamped with work the past few days! But its better now that my boss went HK, it's like the calm before the storm. When he's back next week, I think it will be madness again! Haha. But I'm kind of enjoying the busy-ness (business?) of it all.

I'm so tired but thought of blogging some stuff before I head for the bed.

Met up with Ahboy today and he told me he got a job offer, paying quite well, by an established and popular online business. Its a 10-day stint and he's just supposed to, well, surf porn! HAHA. And rate them (mature adults, et cetera et cetera). I think it's quite cool! You wouldn't think it's sleazy if you know what company is gonna hire him for the position.

After dinner we went over PS, I wanted to get some ear studs, and ended up at Times. I wanted to check out self-help books for learning Spanish. There was this young man standing in front of the "Languages" shelf and I wanted to reach for the Spanish book. I waited for awhile then decided to say "excuse me" and grab the book. He got so frantic that he immediately put down the book he was reading and walked away. Anyway, check out the book he was reading:

HAHA. I think it was hilarious. And there's lines for bringing someone out for dinner (the appetizer), and the lead up to making out and the actual lines used during making out (the maincourse), and there's desserts too (how to do the closing talk). Here's some stuff for use during the making out, you guys thinking of going Thailand to pick up some chicks, its for you:

And there's lines for Lonely Times too:

Those who don't fancy Thai girls can also use the Korean version in their series (Ahboy was disappointed there wasn't one for Japanese):

My 2 pairs of Birkies arrived last week! Love them so much. I should really stop buying shoes! Such a shoe whore.

Gonna catch the Ocean marathon with Weisiang tomorrow, can't wait! I hope I don't fall asleep. And it's Friday tomorrow, a prelude to a wonderful weekend break which I really need. :)

2007-06-05T23:47:00.001+08:00

Pretend you're happy when you're blue
It isn't very hard to do.

I know why I still wear the ring. My mistake staring back at me, telling me never never ever again. :)

Play with fire, and you get burn.

2007-06-04T00:16:00.000+08:00

It's Monday again. Time is passing really fast!

Here's my typical Sunday: waking up at 4pm, doing laundry, having dinner at home, and I managed to watch Dirty Dancing 2. I love the pretty dresses she wore! And definitely made me want to dance. :)

Dancing is about being who you exactly want to be at that moment.

And because I woke up so late today, I had to stop myself from eating one Clarinase even though I was having my usual bout of runny nose, don't want any insomnia tonight.

Chilled at Villa Bali with Jas, Alvin and Walter last night. Quite a nice place, but the atmosphere really made me sleepy.

I've been happy. :)

2007-06-01T00:10:00.001+08:00

I feel like a factory worker sometimes, doing the same thing over and over and for more than 12 hours each day for the past 2 days!

Anyway I forgot that there's an important thing for me to do come July. Harry Potter book 7! I waited 2 years for it! This is an affair that lasted since 1999 and going strong. Haha.

We went Zouk last night and we went home. Haha, it was so packed we didn't even bother queuing up for it. It's crazy! And anyway I was too tired and weren't in the mood to party either.

Met up with Weisiang today and we went shopping for his shirts and I wanted to get a white dress too but didn't find any nice ones. And he bought a tie today and told me there's a website teaching how to tie a tie. I am gonna learn so next time I can tie for..whoever. Haha.

Watched Shrek 3 just now. The theatre was filled up and there's quite a number of lil' kids. And the show was good as usual, cute and funny. I am still quite sore that I missed Meet the Robinsons. :(

I have been going into office around 8 plus in the morning and it's really making me so tired. And I have to go earlier again tomorrow cos' I have the office key with me. Oh, sleep!

Anyway been hearing funny stories over lunch with Kelley, Cindy and Rajesh. Wife who don't wash undies for days! Heh, so glad that Kelley came back from maternity leave, I missed her!

Meeting up with Suzi after work tomorrow. Heh, missed her too. And we are going to party! :)

2007-05-27T23:53:00.000+08:00

I shopped a little today, and only ended up buying the Guess wallet I've been eyeing for quite a while now. And I don't know where all my monies gone, I just don't have savings! And that's one bad habit to add to the numerous I already have - procrastination etc.

And the 4 hours at the salon made me kind of tired. And I had early dinner, which makes me super hungry now!

And before I head to bed. I've got message for Suzi! I found us accomodation at London too! Tick off Sweden and most probably if we could bum at Holland too, would be great! :) I can't wait for exchange, if it really really happen.

And I really hope I get to go Bangkok la.

2007-05-27T02:19:00.000+08:00

现在学着去遗忘躲开有你的地方
回忆被谁放在书架上把它从最高的地方落下
感动越是深刻寂寞就越伤人

I wanted to blog in Chinese, but it ended up sounding kind of emo. So shall just leave that aside, for awhile.

Made an appointment with Chris, I'm hitting the salon for some feel-good fix. And I can indulge in my novels for the 4 hours. No more hogging on my textbooks while she does my hair. Because its finally holidays! It doesn't feel like holiday. Because I'm just working more. But no more textbooks or late-nighters at Li Ka Shing library.

Just watched Blades of Glory, 100% better than Pirates! It was rather funny. But of course, Pirates' got much much better cinematography, really beautiful.

Starhub's been sending me early upgrade vouchers. And I haven't got the heart or money to change my phone. And also, the dilemma of whether to stick with Sony or go back to my old love - Nokia.

Been doing a lot of reflection lately. Still clueless.

I want to catch the Ocean's marathon! :)

2007-05-26T16:53:00.000+08:00

If a show can keep me in my seat throughout 3 hours, without me feeling edgy, it must be a pretty good show! You know what they say about expectations, the more you expect, the worse you feel when it's bad.

Anyway I just want to say. I like the first Pirates, didn't like the 2nd one, didn't think the 3rd one would be any good. And I was right! The movie was quite bad la, it's really, really, really boring. Johnny Depp isn't that funny anymore. And anyway, I wasn't having any expectations for it.

Anyway Walter and I joined Val, Bert and Danlin at Zouk last night, after the boring Pirates. Which made me very very tired today. No joke clubbing on a Friday, when you've been having exams and work during the weekdays. And I think it explains why I just woke up! But nevertheless, I still had fun!

Maybe I just didn't want to have to face you.

2007-05-24T00:33:00.000+08:00

It is officially the start of my summer holidays. But I am exhausted by all the studying for Fixed Income the past few days. Though I wasn't really studying very hard.

Met up with Ahboy after my paper today, then the 3 of us (plus Suzi) watched Next. The show did not disappoint. Much like Butterfly Effect with more action-packed, prettier actress and Nicholas Cage just has that perpetual poker face that makes him rather charming without trying. Oh and I really like the twist in the plot!

Shot some pool before I went home. Wanted to go to Phuture, but I must say I am really really drained.

Bought a pretty white dress online, I hope it fits.

I don't know why we skipped dinner, but I am, really really really, hungry.

2007-05-23T01:25:00.001+08:00

What good use of my time today!

Ordered curry chicken delivery when I was too lazy to go out for supper. Bought a curler online, I shall test out if I look good with curls before I go perm my hair and do somewhat irreversible damage to my hair.

And then I studied. And slept. And studied. And ate and studied. Oh man. I should never stop studying. I intend to revise my maths and maybe read up more on Corp Finance for the remainder of the summer holidays. I've got so much things I want to do for the next 12 weeks left of the holidays. And my agenda changed somewhat after deciding to go for exchange next Jan and maybe even do a BSM to Taiwan in December:

1. Revise Stats and Maths
2. Read up on Corp Finance
3. Finish up my novels and that Grande Expectation!
4. It's been a year, I should really get down to watching the CSI, 24Hours and Heroes, Prison Break etc.
5. Project Save the Liver and Lungs! (I think I will cut down on clubbing, cessation? Hmmm.)
6. Do some serious planning for my exchange
7. Maybe teach myself Spanish.

Anyway was talking to ASK, and he asked me so what do I look for in a man? And I started with..

1. Faithfulness
2. Honesty
3. Mutual trust

I was about to go on and on and ticking the items off my mental list which I have handy, lest I ever encounter such questions. And then he tell me...

No. Maybe you are young. So naive, yada yada. Most importantly, you should look for someone who can provide for you and the family. Give you the right but not the obligation to not work if you choose not to.

Haha. I think I'm not naive. I'm just up to date with the mentality men now have. They rather have their wives out working too. I know when its my mum's time, things are a little different. Men used to want to be the sole breadwinner. Correct me if I'm wrong about our men now.

Alright I shall continue to study now.

2007-05-20T15:35:00.000+08:00

I shall hibernate for the next 3 days till my final paper is over, and that I'm officially rid of SMU for the next 3 months!

I'm supposed to study and do some self-rehearse for my presentation for tomorrow, but I've been doing anything but. I ought to be shot. But! It's the summer holidays afterall!

Striking a balance is important. Right.

Anyway I've been using Google's Analytics for quite a while now. And recently they revamped the layout and added some extras, I thought it was quite good, in terms of the magnitude of data I can now see. And of course, the most interesting part is seeing what are the keywords people google for to come my site. FYI, "Chuikhim" is ranked the highest. And I suspect my friend's ex-gf also google my site for her bf, the keyword used was "meiyan smu ***** ***". And one more that makes me go WTF?! - "sexy FIIM".

Anyway, I realised grooming does wonders! Bong was sent for grooming today, not only does she smell nicer, she seems to have lost weight too!

This was Bong before the grooming:

And this was post-grooming:

Wah piangs she looks so different! I wonder if she was swapped!

2007-05-17T00:51:00.000+08:00

Hey anyone who pass by Cityhall MRT should go check this out. Its at the pavement just outside the Robinsons exit from Raffles City. Just below this anamorphic drawing were some words chalked by the artist:

"This is a Julian Beever anamorphic drawing. To see it correctly in "3D" use your camera. http://users.skynet.be/J.Beever or google Pavement Picasso"."

Here's another one.

Pretty neat.

I'm tired, after work, rushing to school for meeting and class, and glad we kind of completed our CAT Bonds! Wheeeee.

Nights everyone.

2007-05-14T23:42:00.000+08:00

I've got a huge pimple on my face and decided to use 3M's Nexcare acne patch. I'll tell you guys if it works. It's supposed to suck up the oil.

My sis wrote today, think I should write her a letter soon too. Hope she's well.

Got a sneak preview of my mid-term quiz I took last Friday, and I'm glad to say that I passed and did pretty well! :) Heh and SK said that he can see we put in more effort than FIIM.

I'm quite touched by my boss' concerns today. There's actually humane bosses around. He reminds me a lil' of Yeow actually. Which is why I always prefer male bosses. No offense to ladies out there.

I'm so tired. After spending 2 weeks doing a wee bit of research and the last few days trying to come out with the database for my fixed income project. We've decided to drop the topic. It was too tedious and high-level, and seriously, we are just not too sure how to go about it. And in the spur of the moment thing, after some suggestions from Suzi, we've adopted CAT (Catastrophe) Bonds as our new baby! And presentation is next Monday! We don't have much time left but I know we can do it, or at least be at our level best.

I got a little sick of the greenish background. Wanted something simple for a change. And so I did this simple layout during class just now. Which means, I am really quite lost about what's going on in class today!

I'm so tired, still got full day of work tomorrow. Oh gosh. I wish I can take a break sometimes.

2007-05-13T04:14:00.000+08:00

It's just 3 weeks into my summer term 3A and already had my mid-term quiz. Another 2 weeks and school will be officially over for me!

Thanks to Harvey for letting us play mahjong at his place last night, plus the yummy garlic bread! I do feel a lil' bad that Suzi and Harvey were working hard at the project while I was playing mahjong with the rest. Okay! I promise I will devote more time to it! :)

Went Astons with CK, Suzi and Harvey last evening. The food was good and cheap! The chicken I had was definitely huge! Thought it was pretty neat with the 2 sides just like Kenny Rogers, and more than half the price. Oh but the long queue and the inaccessible location is quite a pain though.

Just got home from dimsum with Steven, Sherry, Jas and Alvin. Finally tried the Wen Dou Sek at Geylang, was pretty good. But I was too tired to feel too enthusiastic about eating. We went MoS before that, and really, I don't think MoS is much fun. But was good catching up with them.

I watched Priceless before that. I think French films kick ass. And anyway I didn't know it was a French movie cos' I saw the poster and the actor looks like Nicholas Cage! Audrey Tautou is soooo sexy. I was so exasperated at some parts, like why he bother pursuing her when she's such a ripped off! But thought it was rather sweet when they cruise off on the scooter to .. whereever. Guess I'm still a sucker for some romance, albeit having a rather cynical view of it.

Last few weeks had been just a blur for me. Sometimes it feels like time is just passing me by and yet I have not gotten any takeaway from it. I know I should cut down on clubbing and stuff. But most of the time I'm just bored stiff. Can't sit still to watch my DVDs or read my books.

I need divine intervention!

2007-05-10T04:24:00.000+08:00

If anything goes wrong for my paper on Friday, I only got myself to blame. The inability to delay gratification! Highly able to succumb to the lure of booze and R&B. But it managed to cure my bout of runny nose.

I realised that was what makes me happy at the end of the night. Neither the drinks nor the music can give me that comfort.

I made Bong very fat. But she chewed up half my Sudoku book, not that I've been doing it all these while.

I've neglected much things. Yet fixated on many others.

And it comes a time, I realised I'm still carrying all these. I need to store them away. Or bury them somewhere along with those faded memories.

Those that still carries the scent of yesterday.

2007-05-07T23:14:00.000+08:00

I think words can't describe how I feel.

This is not a phase. It's all about choices and perspectives.

I watched Trainspotting yesterday. I was clueless till I thought about the deeper meaning. When you are pretty fucked up the only way to go is down. Like the inverted yield curve I've been learning in class. Or maybe that's just how people expect you to be. It's all about expectations, really.

If you think you are fine, you definitely are.

But then I'm not really making sense anymore, am I?

I have an excuse to be so random. My horoscope says it all:

You are normally upbeat and you were born with optimism as your middle name. But this week your typically positive personality may undergo a few shakes and rattles. You may feel out of sorts, or you might feel temporarily alienated from your closest friends. It might appear to you that no one understands where you are coming from or what you are going through right now, since you may not know yourself. Sunday your sprits may lift if you spend time at the gym or take some long walks or runs in an area you like and feel safe in.

I do want to jog. But thanks to my swollen ankle, I can't.

I'm looking forward to July actually. No more fixed income. Got my Bangkok trip. Catching some plays too, Dewei's 心里有树 and Asian Boys Vol. 3, hope they are good. And of course, there's Meiling's wedding too!

I feel I'm getting old. Slowly but surely.

It was the same old same, how have you been?

2007-05-06T22:10:00.000+08:00

When will I ever learn?

2007-05-05T16:18:00.000+08:00

Firstly I must say sorry to Jason for indirectly causing him to lose his phone last night. And for taking care of me last night! Haha. I must say I wished I didn't sprain my ankle! It's so swollen and hurts so much. Will not repeat an unglam night.

I had a full Macs meal (not the breakfast ones) for the first time in months. Ever since I watched Supersize Me, I was trying to avoid Macs, and virtually all fast food. Was feeling lazy today so we ordered Macs before we head home. I found another Indian who can speak fluent Mandarin! Just like Melissa! They should meet each other!

I have to start mugging for Fixed Income later. It seems as if the exams just ended, but somehow the system just never stops working. :( I hate it. I do. I can't wait to go for exchange, if it all works out well.

I depleted my savings already. I spent a lot this month on unneccessary stuff that accumulated a sum large enough to bankrupt one of my accounts. Amount that I could have used to buy the new phone and watch that I've been putting off for more than a year already. I just can't bear to splurge on one single expensive item on myself sometimes. Besides travels of course.

I am gonna rest that swollen foot and tired mind of mine.

2007-05-03T23:15:00.000+08:00

I'm so tired from Zouk last night. And work today and then did a little bit of studying in school just before I head home. To see a very wet Bong! And she hates to be blown dry, she just kept jumping about and biting me!

Anyway just some very random pictures to make this entry more interesting.

First off, the Lasik! Went to the talk with CK last Thursday. She asked me, "Got people try to save money and do one eye only or not?" HAHA. That was like damn funny la. Then we realised it was quite redundant to state "Both Eyes".

Took this picture with Suzi last night before we head off to Zouk.

Mahjong! Played it with Jack, Yijia and Kuanyi last Sunday. There's quite a few rounds which we were punking around and said could only throw "13-yao tiles".

I think this is quite amusing. I didn't take this picture to humiliate whoever the dude was. And if you happen to know him, I'm not making fun of him! I just think it's damn cute la. By the way, the words are "THINK & SPEAK UP".

Another picture of Suzi and me! The best students ASK has!

Looks yummy but taste really bad. This is from the HK Cafe at Cine. I knew the food there are generally lousy la.

Almond cream at some HK Cafe along Liang Seah Street I think. Behind Bugis Junction. Too sweet, not nice. Sometimes being too sweet is a little overpowering.

If I had to rate the iced milk teas I ever had in those HK Cafe I went to. This one would be 2nd. The best I ever had was at the HK Cafe along East Coast Road. Wah that one is damn damn nice! Anyway this one taste okay just not as thick as the East Coast one. And I like the metal cup!

Okay, this is the lousiest iced milk tea I ever had. Those prata stalls teh peng taste nicer! And this is from the HK Cafe behind Bugis. And one more bad thing, its quite pricey!

Okay I'm off to bed. I am super tired. :(

2007-05-01T23:26:00.000+08:00

Life after the regular term has been full of booze, mahjong, work, summer classes and lots of catching up with my dear friends. And its been ruining my health and bank account balance too!

Just watched Spiderman 3. I thought it was better than the 2nd one. But lots of random stuff here and there which I thought wasn't very neccessary. But I like the bad spidey, he looks way cuter. And there was this scene, which was kind of touching, the kind I think will cause Mr Steven Phua to weep in his seat.

I don't think I want to go HK this weekend. The amount of money left in my accounts is pathetic, to put it mildly. Though I really dying to go overseas like soon! :(

I've got my ticket to Bangkok and the same Samran Hotel booked for July! I simply can't wait to update my closet.

Decided not to take my driver's licence this holiday. I shall save up, for my bigger plans next January. I'm quite excited. Should have made the decision earlier!

I want to get a perm too. I know I've been saying that for the longest time! I shall do it maybe in June. Or July.

I must start studying for my quiz that's on next week! Somehow it doesn't feel as if I am taking a summer module. Because the materials seem all FIIM-ish to me.

Had dinner with Jas, Mabel and Ling last night at Pizza Walker. The manager (we assumed was one) pissed Ling off by giving her the wrong order despite her repeating it thrice, that she wanted Spaghetti and not Linguine. And the manager had the cheek to say sarcastically, "Are you allergic to Linguine or something?" And then came back after awhile and said, "Did you enjoy your spaghetti despite the disappointment earlier?" Anyway, we managed to get free drinks and free tarts, on good ol' Eddie (that's his name).

And then went over Mabel's place at Bedok to play 2 rounds of mahjong. Boy my luck is really screwed! So much for saying I don't think we be needing the $50 chips. Cos' I managed to lose $120 in chips! Heh, but it was really good fun joking and singing to the songs playing on Class 95. Sometimes it remind me of the wonderful sec school days we had. And good to play with Mabel's mum too! She's quite funny.

I hope I can survive Zouk tomorrow. It's a farewell to Jasmin party! Hope she would be fine in China!

2007-04-29T01:32:00.000+08:00

Oh man. I've been the most hardworking this semester compared with the previous ones, but my scores are somehow inversely related. But I shall not beat myself down. Disappointment is only temporary.

Just like how I remembered feeling lousy about doing badly on a test in primary school. On hindsight everything are so insignificant now. And you will just laugh thinking how silly you were. And comparisons with others just either makes you feel better or lousier. So I somehow stopped doing that too.

Almost everything are relative.

I do feel better after my jog.

I'm looking forward to mahjong tomorrow with the econs boys. And keeping my fingers crossed that the HK trip this Friday can come through. I want to get out of here!

And I'm glad I made up my mind about that exchange. I shall start doing more research from now on. :)

I've watched 20cm and Wild Hogs this week. The former was an alternative type of comedy, and the latter was quite lame.

Alrights I'm off to bed.

2007-04-25T23:18:00.000+08:00

Its always nice that at the end of the day, when I'm all tired from work and class, that I have someone eagerly waiting for my return. Even if that someone is a puppy! Yes, Bong brightens up my day. When I wake up, she will be following me around, hugging my calf. And when I get home, she will snuggle up to me when I sit down cross-legged in front of her. But I don't like it when she bites.

And anyway, I think I am spoiling her with all the snacks.

I just lost my webcam! Grrr. I don't know where it's gone to. And there's just this irritating feeling boiling inside me. I want to know where is it!

I'm feeling rather lazy and tired. I just hope I can pull through this module.

My grades took a plunge this semester. I really thought I was putting in more effort this semester. I think my horoscope was true! Less distractions please!

I'm off to bed. Dreaming of better days.

2007-04-23T23:14:00.000+08:00

Someone commented that I should take some photographs of food, of beautiful people in clubs (I think I will leave that to Mumtazz.com and Nightlife.sg or Juice, they are doing a good job). I thought dog food should suffice for this entry. Right?

Spent most of the day eating, going for classes and walking, walking and more walking, with Harvey and Suzi. Ended the evening getting some treats for Bong!

This is supposed to be good for Bong's teeth. Or so the sales girl said.

And I got this so that Bong will stay clear of my pumps, books, the newspapers etc.

Chocolates! I know Bong likes these cos' I just fed her some, and she kept coming back for more.

Wanted to get the Pizza ones that Suzi gave me to give to Mambo the other time. But the Pizza one was going to expire. Will feed this to Bong when she finishes the bacon ones.

And this is the Bacon and cheese one! Bong absolutely love it! She almost instantaneously gobbled it up the moment I stretched my hand out to feed her.

Anyway I started class today. My lecturer had to suan me in front of the whole class. Haha, not just me, Suzi too. And he changed the timings for some classes, so I wouldn't feel like a bummer between knock off time and classes' time. And there's this very irritating girl in my class!

No more reading of novels, surfing and blogging (keep to a minimal, at least not so often) till I finish this summer mod.

And I am looking forward to dear's wedding! :)

2007-04-22T23:04:00.000+08:00

I did not manage to take any nice shot of the severely camera-shy Bong.

She was testing my patience, barking at me non-stop when I was doing the laundry, and acting dead when I was just about to spank her ass. She's still so endearing.

Evidence of her acting dead:

And sort of made me miss Goldie. I don't know why.

Term 3A starts tomorrow! I spent a wee bit of time going through the notes just now. Wanted to start on the Grande Expectations. But I think I will leave it till tomorrow, on the train. :)

Anyway was watching MSU just now. Remembered watching it last year while studying and writing notes for Macroecons. It was awkward watching Jade Seah hosting some parts of the program. She was so stiff. Like Jas said, it was quite "gao wei" to watch her host.

I got one more thing to add to my list of Summer must-do. I want to start writing my autobiography! Something to document my life in case Alzheimer hits me.

Speaking of which, I did better than I thought I would for Psychology. But still, that alphabet is grossly obscene!

The Scrabble Dictionary, the Monopoly set, the Scrabble set and many other things. Reminds me of the errors of my way.

Tissue won't fix it.

2007-04-22T03:50:00.000+08:00

The wee hour of the night. And I've got Bong for company.

I caught 2 movies back to back with David. Ah, not really, since I had coffee in between.

Fracture was good. So darn good. I wouldn't have thought of that! No spoilers. You guys should go watch it. :) And I love Ryan Gosling's movies. I thought Notebook was pretty good, the sappy kind of good.

And then I watched 200 Pounds Beauty. Funny, some parts sad, but I thought "Jenny" was too emotional! But she's really really pretty la! A real beauty. I felt that she look a wee bit like Vivien Hsu.

Last night I met up with Liren for dinner, then we went to Bar Stop with Lum and co. And then to Zouk. Eh the music wasn't that good last night. And I had too much to drink. Somehow managed to get home and made myself change my clothes, wash up a wee bit and head to bed, all done under 2 minutes. I was that desperate for sleep.

My Psych prof said she's gonna release the result last night (Sat) but till now I didn't get anything! It's so unnerving it's disgusting.

I want to do some shopping for clothes. Just not in Singapore.

And I bought myself a book, "Grande Expectations" (a year in the life of Starbucks stock), at Borders after my dinner just now. I hope it would be a good read. Not the typical kind of book I usually get, but I should read something intellectually stimulating (other than my textbooks).

I was listening to Sun Yanzi's promo for her new album on 93.3FM at work. She was talking about her new song, 我怀念的. Saying that older people will understand the song better. Its about relationships, being sweet in the beginning, and then it just dies down after a while. Hey, I could relate to it. Does that makes me old? Such melancholic lyrics. It's quite beautiful that way.

我问为什么
那女孩传简讯给我
而你为什么
不解释低着头沉默
我该相信你很爱我
不愿意敷衍我
还是明白你已不想挽回什么

想问为什么
我不再是你的快乐
可是为什么却苦笑说我都懂了
自尊常常将人拖着
把爱都走曲折
假装了解是吧艰辛太赤裸裸
但被逼失去难受

我怀念的是无话不说
我怀念的是一起做梦
我怀念的是争吵以后
还是想要爱你的冲动
我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空
最紧的右手
最暖的胸口
(谁记得)谁忘了

我怀念的无言感动
我怀念的绝对挚热
我怀念的是你很激动
求我原谅
我记得你在背后
我记得我颤抖着
记得感觉汹涌
最美的烟火最长的相拥

谁爱的太自由
睡过头太远了
谁要走我的心
谁忘了那就是承诺
谁自古自里走
谁忘了跟着我
谁让爱变执着
谁忘了要给你温柔

2007-04-19T22:53:00.000+08:00

I was bitten by Bong last night. That bitch! Literally a bitch (my sister's dog la). I was trying to chase it to punish it, but I realised I can't outrun her. I remembered asking my sister to take it away from me last night just before I went off to bed.

When I got home just now, she greeted me at the door. I do feel good seeing her. And decided to feed her from Beggin Strips (bacon cheese thingy). And I realised she has really pretty blue eyes! :)

Decided to splurge a little at The Body Shop during lunch today. Cindy was telling me how she always spend a lot in there. I got myself from almond lip butter, body scrub (brazil nut, it smells good) and camomile eye make-up remover. Wah. All sounds so exotic but I always remembered about The Body Shop case when I studied BGS in year 1. Tsk.

And "somebody" told me last Saturday that "someone" is getting married! OMG. I cannot believe it. Because my dearest "bride-to-be" did not even tell me!

MISS LIAN MEI LING IS GETTING MARRIED!

And then I sms-ed her today. And I found out that she's getting married in July (so SOON)! And she already bought a 5-room flat and renovating it. And I'm only hearing it now?! Since you didn't give me warning... you know la, ang bao not enough time to save, how to give you more than what I gave Wendy last year?!

Remembered going for Wendy's wedding last January. Was it so long ago? Haha. I'm really happy that Meiling found someone good to settle down with. :) Make sure he takes good care of you!

Oh work is draining all energy out of me. Didn't have the mood to even go for dessert just now. And I dozed off for awhile in Walter's car just now, whilst Jasmine and him were talking and talking away, but everything just sounds like a blur to me. I don't know how I am going to endure the next 4 weeks of summer term. I seriously have no idea....

Today my boss was asking if I was getting along well with his secretary, I said I was. He commented that she said I work pretty fast. And I looked at him and told him, "You don't agree right?!" Haha. Anyway its good that Cindy and Rajesh are just working next door. Cos' lunch time is the only free time to talk! None of my colleagues talk anyway. And I always complain about having to entertain insureds when I was working at KW.

And yes, this is just random ramblings.

2007-04-17T22:35:00.000+08:00

I want to blog about work. When I used to work at KhattarWong, I like the big firm feel, like everywhere I walk I can just stop by to talk to somebody. And I made quite a few good friends there as well. And then at Bonnie's firm, I like the independent feel, just me, her and the secretary.

And now, I'm stuck in between. In a small firm with more colleagues this time. But I can't quite click with them, in fact, everyone is so busy we don't even talk. Even though they are within 1-metre radius of me.

Workload is so heavy. Today my boss asked if I could cope. I think I can. Just that I'm a little slow because I am still trying to recce the computer for precedents and stuff. Some letters became standard over the past 3 years I've been typing them. So its really just searching through the Pentium III low RAM computer that is killing me. It wastes time. And faxing and photocopying. It almost became a reflex sometimes. The more you do something. You gain momentum and then everything just pass by in a flash. Because I barely remembered sitting down and then it was lunch, then back to work, and then knock off.

My boss wanted me to do OT today, I would have, if Jayson didn't remind me that we were supposed to have dinner. I thought it was off since he didn't reply me yesterday. And it was his birthday yesterday.

How time flies. It's been some 5 years since we went out together. 5 years since we broke up. I guess before that I just never found the courage to face him after letting him down so hard then. I'm glad he's having a good job now, seeing someone nice. And definitely more talkative than before! :) And then I told him, he's the nicest guy(bf) I ever met.

It's funny how life unfolds.

Somehow I'm looking forward to the start of Fixed Income module. Though I didn't do well for FIIM. The result was out yesterday.

And my summer plans (it's like new year resolutions):

1) Start learning to drive (Jayson says he will go learn with me)
2) Study for Fixed Income
3) Work, work and more work
4) Hong Kong trip! (Its time to clear out my closet and get more new clothes!)
5) Teach myself Photoshop CS
6) Firm up my jogging routine
7) Finish up my tons of DVDs
8) Read all those books on the shelves (I should at least finish the Summer Psychic that Val lent me)
9) Travel alone, to somewhere. I don't know where, yet.
10) And yes, maybe I will perm my hair.

As I was walking home just now. I thought about tomorrow's breakfast, what I want to have. Then I thought about my eldest sister. That she was the one who bought my breakfast last summer when I was working too. Every morning when she send her son to school, she will buy breakfast for me.

I don't know how to ever get close to her. Some part of me resent her for the things she do. And part of me still care for her. I want her to sober up that's for sure. But I don't think I'm the kind of younger sister she really love to have. I thought of visiting her. But I've got work. Sigh. Maybe when I thought I didn't like her, I really do love her. Since young, the things we do. I see a little of myself in her, sometimes.

And tomorrow, I decided I shall dress up for work (I've been wearing jeans and jeans-skirt the last 2 days). And maybe head home for a jog after that.

I must say, I do treasure the time spent taking the train, its the only time I get to read my novels.

2007-04-16T23:20:00.000+08:00

I thought I would be able to blog that my first day of work at a new firm went by without mishaps. But I managed to make one big mistake! I deactivated the firm's smart card, and had to take a few hours to get the help desk to help me do something about it. I must have sounded really desperate on the phone. HAHA. Becos' I don't want to be fired on the first day of work! But I can see my boss like thinking whether my pay was worth all the trouble.

That's my first day of work.

Met up with Harvey, Yanling and Suzi for dinner. The intention was to check out Astons at Katong. But upon reaching there it was closed for renovation! And then we ended up having Ichiban at Parkway Parade. Ichiban! There's like 4 or 5 of them near SMU! And we came from school. Haha, don't worry Harvey I don't blame you. It's my bad day!

And then they say bad things happen in threes.

I stopped by a pet shop at Katong and bought bacon treats for Tingle. Hoping to play with her before my sister decides to move it back to her boyfriend's house. And I just got home, when I opened up my front door, my heart sank. The cage and Tingle was gone.

And here's something I grabbed from Sean's blog. Our post-exams party! :)

2007-04-13T17:05:00.000+08:00

Sorry to whine but I haven't gotten over missing out 30 marks on my IE paper today! Yes, I've proven how slow I really am. :(

Had a good lunch with the girls after the paper at Thai Express, and really looking forward to Zouk tonight. After all the late nights and sleepless weeks devoted to studying (though I wasn't very productive most of the times), I really need to unwind.

And yes, I want to play MJ too!

Anyway just had my interview, and my new boss (yes, I've gotten the job) is soooooo nice la. I was supposed to go for the interview at 3. Then it was raining so heavily and he said he will come and pick me up at where ever I would be at 3pm! And then I had my interview at a pub (an old gentlemen's club) near Armenien Street, and showed him the software we did for CAT project, he gave me some ideas for us to refine, repackage and to sell. And then he gave me a ride home. Haha, at least I can conclude that he's rather a nice person, socially. Not too sure about workwise.

And the best thing was, he advanced next week's pay to me! :) At least I won't feel so broke for the next week or so.

And so, today had my last exam. Officially have 3 days break before I start work next Monday. And I'm taking Term 3A too. I hope I will be fine. And so, I think I will have to mug really hard when the term starts the week after. Which means, I won't really have a life for up till 18 May! Oh what have I gotten myself into?!

Okay I shall go stock up on my sleeping hours (only took 2 hours naps every 2 hours last night).

2007-04-12T03:15:00.000+08:00

Oh what a night. Here I am trying to study but I decided to take a break, print my IE report out, I hope it helps a little in understand the BOP and hopefully CK's comparison chart might come in handy for the exam tomorrow.

Sometimes I let my mind wonder and think about what other people are also doing at this time of the night. Or day. It's 9.15pm over at Anfield and the Reds are already into 30th minute of game play. I bet the crowds are having a good time cheering and jeering. But it's still GOALLESS. I just hope they don't screw up the game! But anything can happen, even Man U can score 7 goals last night! 7! Oh and I happen to think that Carrick is quite not bad looking. But not as good as Jamie Redknapp, in fact I think Redknapp is hotter than Beckham any time!

And how time flies. I just realised Euro Championships is just next year!

I hope I can go without sleep just for tonight. Will be meeting Peiling for breakfast in less than 5 hours' time. I hope to finish the slides by then! :)

Alrights I'm looking forward to 12noon tomorrow!

2007-04-10T21:28:00.000+08:00

When I looked into the mirror just now, after I removed my concealor, I noticed how glaring my dark eye rings are! Some things I can never conceal. It's no joke sleeping 2 hours each night. I am getting my rebound REM tonight! :)

Bumped into Jason just now and he walked me home. And guess who he told me was engaged?

Anyway CK and I are totally not respecting IE. Instead of thinking about the coming paper, we are planning our weekends. Like, what movie to watch after the paper, whether to go clubbing and also MJ! :) I love CK. She makes me less stressed up.

And today was studying with Jasmin, though we weren't really studying. Wah Jasmin is freaking hilarious la, sometimes I really enjoy talking to her. She said something like, "Sometimes I tell myself its okay I drive like that, I'm a female driver, people expect me to be like that". Oh and if we are gonna flunk our papers and not do well, we can just got set up a shop/cafe. Or she will find a really, really, really old man to be with and get the inheritance and marry the grandson! See, girls can really plan ahead.

Oh and my EAL paper really lived up to its expectations. I just can't do it. :( Yah, I know I just didn't work hard enough. My Psych paper was a breeze as usual. I just won't know how bad my ti-kam skills are till I get my results. 90 MCQs!

I hope I get the job. Else it's goodbye to my HK trip this year.

Here's something new for you to check out. www.pink5one.com It's Eric-Eugene's new creation!

2007-04-09T02:13:00.000+08:00

How can I forget about Kelley's new born baby? Kelley just gave birth yesterday around noon. And its a girl afterall! Remembered she was saying the doc can't be too sure, cos' the baby might open the legs and a dick might be there. So ultrascan can be ambiguous sometimes.

Ah and the baby's birth date's the same as CK.

Welcome to the world, Ashlyn!

Heh, sometimes I wish I can start over.

2007-04-08T22:11:00.000+08:00

Okay, this entry is damn random.

Anyone has habits like mine to read through your past? I have to say this again and again, I regretted deleting my old upsaid blog. 2 years worth of "my past" gone. If only I had discover the wonders of WinHTTrack earlier.

Because sometimes I gain new perspectives to looking at things. Like how AI (Artificial Intelligence) appears different to me now and from watching it many years back. Although I still think the whole show is damn bo liao, but in a different way and level. Like I used to think its such a good thing to be able to bring his "mummy" back to life some 2000 years later, like at least David could spend just "one more day" with her. Now I just think how futile it is. I think this is because I start to realise the virtues of "you won't lose something you never gain". Like also how I start believing the saying of "don't start something you know will end one day", after reading it many many years ago.

But of course, sometimes irrationality (or rationality if you see it) takes over, and instil some form of "you never try you never know" in me.

And in Psychology, its always wanting to know, what? What is the cause? And so, what provokes this train of thought? I think its the scene where "mummy" decides to abandon David in the woods. How much he begs to be with her, how he promised to be a good boy and not say the wrong things anymore. Why did she choose to make him "him" and then choose to let go when things go wrong, without trying to work things out? And I realised this is something that exists in many of us.

Let me digress a little.

I've tried to come out with reasons for certain behavior. Like how couples who endlessly quarrel might be because they did not sort out their differences prior to getting together, or unable to work at it when they are already together. And this problem magnifies further due to the obvious characteristical differences that exist in men and women. Its like the multiplier effect. Men don't like to talk about problems (especially if to them, it is something mundane and doesn't even constitute a "problem"), and usually want to shun away and go into their "caves". Whilst women can't sleep without talking about it. And so when there is a problem, it manifests into something bigger, from something small like: "why didn't you pick up my call?". The men will ignore since its no biggie, then the women will go thinking about why he don't want to talk about it, the paranoia effect kicks in, and blow things out of proportions. And on and on.

I don't know if that's the norm.

But I can say, I can be rather irrational at times.

And how this entry managed to become so random, I don't know.

Like how random it is to study Psychology, sometimes they talk about this, then suddenly jump to the fact that they are still trying to find solution blah blah. Oh man. Sometimes I really hate reading that text.

In fact, I'm starting to like reading Competition Law. Which is what I've been doing since I woke up. (And watching AI too)

I wanted to go jogging later. I think I will save it for after the exams.

2007-04-07T21:35:00.000+08:00

Eh, I'm not very good with dealing with immense stress afterall.

I need, need, need, need a long long break after I'm done with these.

And its time like these that I really want to just get out of Singapore! I want to roam the streets of cities and villages yet to be discovered (by me). I would even go back to the land mines filled place to worry about washing clothes and building the kiln studio. I want to be back to where I was the last summer break I had. I want to be anywhere but here.

And I'm falling sick already from all these late-nighters I've been pulling, yet unproductive.

Somedays I ask myself, why?

2007-04-05T15:49:00.000+08:00

Please let me dedicate a few paragraphs to some unhappiness I have with LIFE.

My FIIM quiz in the morning went quite badly. It wasn't difficult, I think I was just too lazy to think! Of the calculations, of flipping thru' the notes when there's so little space. So all I did was to type Ctrl+F the whole time on my lappie trying to search for all kinds of words. And I stupidly shaded "A" for 10 MCQs I left out when time's up. "A"! Obviously I really wasn't thinking very hard this morning.

I hate this feeling of worrying! That I haven't start on EAL. That the exam is 2 essay questions! 2! It's worse than TWC's 4 "one-liner-topics essays" la I swear.

And seriously I don't know what's up with me and MCQs. I just CANNOT score. And everytime if I shade something, then change my mind and shade something else, the answer will end up to be the one I erased!

Okay, enough of school-related complaints.

Did I mention that I lost my permanent part-time job?! Yah, it's quite depressing. I guessed I became too expensive, in the workforce where cheap labor is abundant! Actually no la, I know my boss cannot have me stop working for a month to study. :( So I don't blame her.

Choices, choices. Now I have to think whether to bum my holidays away and eat myself. Do Fixed-Income mod during summer (I already got the bid)? My almost available new job don't seem very available at the moment. Or try to source for internship? Or join CK at AIA. Or really, just offer myself to babysit some people's kids since everyone seem to be giving birth now. Or walk people's dogs.

Anyway, I just called up my school library to check if they will be opening 24 hours today and tomorrow, since it's Good Friday. And the librarian told me, YES, they will be open and it's because "They want to support the students in their studies". Wah so touched I can cry. I really need all the support that I can garner now.

I hate myself for still being all nice to you, when all I have are bad feelings towards you. I hope you know that. You really have no idea what it's like to give when all you do is take.

And now to think about it, all that self-loving talks are really quite ****ed-up.

I don't know where all those angst came from.

I'm fine.

2007-04-04T04:24:00.000+08:00

I know I'm a little slow. Only managed to hear this song today. And the lyrics tugs at my heart. Been playing it on loop for the past few hours. Well, when you know that you just don't know. Still in school. Still trying to fight it out with FIIM. It's not that hard. I just lack the power of the mind.

At least I managed to do the right thing.

Damien Rice - Cannonball

Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little hard to say what's going on

Still a little bit of your ghost your witness
Still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed
You step a little closer each day
Still I can't say what's going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball

Still a little bit of your song in my ear
Still a little bit of your words I long to hear
You step a little closer to me
So close that I can't see what's going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannon

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to cry
So come on courage!
Teach me to be shy
'Cause it's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna scare her
It's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna lose
It's not hard to grow
When you know that you just don't know

2007-04-03T03:15:00.000+08:00

My 687th post. The number sums up to 21. Which is supposed to be a lucky number. And speaking of which, when I was watching The Number 23, David commented that I'm 23 this year.

Still suffering from the aftermath of last night's crazy booze party at CK's chalet. And confronted by evidence depicting our horrid state in the form of .jpeg! Okay, I'm really sorry for 1. being tipsy before the b'day girl was, 2. biting **, though I swear I didn't, and on a balance of probabilities, wouldn't have if I was sober, 3. Ermm, being tipsy before PL did! HAHA. And couldn't continue boozing with her.

Anyway, I'm still in school. I am super unproductive today. I wonder why. After 2 coffees, 1 tua huay chwee, 1 bottle of redoxenfied distilled water, 1 honey green tea with pearl, I am only stomach-filled, not brain-filled with FIIM.

I've been alternating between classicals, chinese songs, and now, I've switched to R&B. I was hoping it would wake me up from my lazy and blurry state.

I was really sorry to hear about Wenqing's death. I can't quite believe it. And I don't really know what to say.

My sister once told me that, somewhere out there in this world, there will be someone who looks exactly like me, and have the same character, probably have the same family and same preferences as me. I wonder what she is doing now. Is she, facing the same thoughts and looking at the same things as I do?

He says I think too much. I say I don't think enough. Because if I did, I wouldn't be thinking about it now. Such a waste of time.

I want too much, yet too little.

Sometimes I start to confuse myself too.

2007-04-02T03:57:00.000+08:00

Oh what a night.

Just got back from CK's party and it was just madness. Her cake is huge! And nicely branded. :)

I shouldn't drink so much next time.

Thanks Harvey for listening to my whining and Yijia for sending me back!

A weird feeling I have. Oh, nevermind.

Because sometimes what you plan will turn out differently. And sometimes I supposed I still need to, well, put myself in others' shoes.

Somehow that scene played over in my mind, over and over. And I just stood there watching. Something tells me what was wrong.

And I should just turn back and walk away. Which was what I did.

2007-04-01T04:44:00.000+08:00

Everyone should meet Jay. He's Jas' family bear. 16 years old. That's as long as I've known Jasmine! I don't know if my friendship with Jas came first, or him. He's smelly, he's naggy, but he's harmless. His full name is Jay Foo Xiong Xiong. Any female bear wants to know him?

Jay does KTV! He came along with Jas to K-ster today. The 3 of us almost freezed to death.

Shit la, I haven't start revising for FIIM. And I'm going for CK's birthday later. Bah. But I'm looking forward to MJ and the booze, and of cos', seeing her get drunk.

Happy birthday to Leroy, Kun and KC. :)

2007-03-31T18:09:00.000+08:00

I am so glad I finally finished editing the IE report. Just waiting for some final addition and we are done! :) And frankly speaking, the IE project gives me the most sense of achievement (all done in 4 days!), even more than the Hedge Funds one which we managed to do up in 2 days.

And like CK say, we should really buck up.

I know I should be studying for my quiz that's on next week and the killer ones the following week. But I am going for KTV with Jas later. I know I've been partying and out these 2 weeks. I can't help it. Especially after spending so much time studying for Psych and I ended up getting f***ed up results.

It's freedom day for me come 13 April! Please make time for me then. I will be free for 4 months!

2007-03-30T23:58:00.000+08:00

My right eyelid has been twitching for the longest time. For more than 2 weeks! Its irritated me enough that I went to google (actually I yahoo-ed) it for the cause. And I realised there's this Yahoo! Answers thing, that people post their questions and then some random people will answer it. And so I searched for "eye twitch" and some of the comments made me laughed out loud:

"cause there are people around you. Thats why my eye twitches." - no shit. Then I bet everyone's eyes should be twitching ever so often!

"just a nerve, usually caused by stress, being super tired, or shock, my eye gets the twitch every once in a while, the worst one lasted about 2 months after I got divorced" - Jialat. 2 months! How could he take it for so long? I can't stand it for 2 weeks!

"because it wants to?" - Like hello?

"don't know. I had that for like 6 months, when I relaxed it went away" - Okay, I rather have it for 2 months than 6!

"probally an electrolyte imbalance. eat a banana and ill bet ya 50bucks it stops." - Okay I shall start having bananas then. B A N A N A S!

"An old myth says, it's because you will surely cry before the day is out.
I think it's just something the nerves do when they are not happy." - How do one make their nerves happy?

Anyway, I realised its termed Blepharospasm. And apparently caused by stressed, tiredness, too much caffeine or like they said - my nerves are not happy, and also because it wants to. And the solution is either to sleep more, stare less at the computer, or eat a banana (I can even get 50 bucks if it doesn't work).

Its officially the last days of this semester before the exams kick in. I want to express my gratitude to Mr Harvey (soon to be Prof Harvey) for his kindness! IE would never be easy without him. And to Suzi for being my constant motivation in staying in school to study. And to CK for her numerous talk cock sessions on the train and for teaching Khalid and me so much for BOP. And to the girls, may we have more ICB-sessions to come.

I believe all of us indulge in some form of hypocrisy, just in varying degrees.

I really should be stronger for my own sake. Like what my walk-me-home friend said last night, we should not let our happiness be dictated by others.

Okay I shall go rest that twitching eye of mine.

2007-03-29T04:44:00.000+08:00

My goodness. So much for saying I won't go clubbing anytime soon!

Just got back from Phuture, with Val. I am so glad that you are back in my life! I will never ever risk losing you again.

Its almost like old times, almost. 'Cept that the guys in Zouk are getting YOUNGER. Its like 18-year-olds EVERYWHERE. But give us free booze and good R&B anytime! I've grown past the Chinablack days where a little alcohol can send me vomitting.

And I do realised I have to start on that IE report, like soon. I'm starting to see some light for IE. Just a little.

Met up with David earlier on. Thanks so much for the necklaces! Oh and we caught The Number 23 too. Not too bad a show. And its uncanny that I had psychopathology lesson earlier in the evening.

I'm really so glad that you left me. I never really knew you.

I guessed JR was right all along.

And they say love is blind.

This feeling inside me, it won't go away. Not for a long long time. I'm seeing things in a different light.

I want to say this again: I'm so glad that Val is back!

2007-03-27T21:08:00.000+08:00

The almost biggest worry is over! IE presentation is over! (although there's still the report to worry about). And Prof said it was good! :)

So I reward myself with a nice lunch today at Curry Flavor (or is it favor?) with Peiling. And I intend to watch Hanakimi tonight! After I'm done reading the psych notes. I wanted to go for a jog. Hmmm, maybe later. I need to exercise!

Ahh, I just read a whole issue of magazine online. Though there's not much articles in it, there's some pretty nice shops to check out.

Tigerairways is having promotion! 75% off! Grrr. I'm too broke now to even buy the air tickets. $170 round trip for Shenzhen! I want to go HK! And I want to go back to Bangkok too. Hmmmmm. Hopefully I still have my job waiting for me. I promise I will take less off days this summer.

I realised I'm blogging quite often. Last time I used to have someone I could tell all these mundane things to, but I'd rather save the hassles and emotional baggages that comes along with having that someone, and type them here instead.

Harvey says I'm cynical. I know I am. And doubt that is going to change. Being cynical is good. At least to me. That way I can cope with disappointments better. Like I won't think I will do well for anything and if anything comes up good, its a bonus.

Ah, what a shame that IE is over. Just when I found my motivation to turn up to class for. HAHA. I'm sure you girls know what I am referring to.

I think I am getting back my psychology mid-term quiz tomorrow. And I am dreading it.

And my legs are feeling better already!

Really, I'm so glad I pulled myself out of it. Which proves my point, I really should depend on myself sometimes. :)

2007-03-27T00:43:00.000+08:00

I found my alter-ego in CK! Haha, we managed to talk about Comms presentation to Fight Club and then to saying that she might just be my alter-ego.

But yeah, I cannot imagine doing my IE project without her! She's amazing! Sorry girl that I'm too bimbotic to help out with much. Haha, but we are really happy with our slides.

And I want to thank David for helping me buy necklaces from Bangkok! Without having to fly across. I'm one happy girl. :)

I got serious craving for chocolate! Especially Royce's bitter chocs! Ahhh. And those my boss got from Japan early this month.

Just got back from IE project. We spent an intensive 4 days of work on it. I hope the presentation goes well tomorrow. My dear classmates who are reading this, please try not to sabo and ask funny questions ah.

Oh managed to get CK to come out with her wishlist for her birthday. I'm looking forward to April 1st! I want to play mahjong with my super classmate!

I can't wait to get some sleep once this IE thing is over.

2007-03-25T23:11:00.000+08:00

I hope you will expect less from me. Afterall, I do believe in karma (but does not apply to that "china handicap"). And yes, I know people do always want more. I thought it was quite sweet, until I realised what's it for.

Thank goodness I grew out of it. It reminds me of how you used to be. Some people just don't change. But know what? I shall just act ignorant for now.

Been up since morning, reading and breathing IE. I don't think its that difficult, it's just tedious trying to gather my thoughts and think about how to manipulate sets of theories into meaningful powerpoint slides.

And good luck to Jas and Ling, hope the two of you are happy at your new office. :)

Tingle came home for awhile just now. My sister wants me to take care of her, but I can only do that after my exams. She became really active!

I spent my weekends in school, and been doing so for this whole month! All I ask for is air-con in the rooms till late night! They rather spend money airconditioning the underpass (the whole stretch from Dhoby Ghaut to City Hall) and allow the poor students in the GSRs to suffer! Sigh.

My legs! They still hurt. :(

2007-03-24T14:41:00.000+08:00

I met up with Frank last night and we had our (horrible) dinner at Hark Music (over at Prinsep), played some pool over at the bar nearby. I felt so tired I wanted to go home after that and since I've got project meeting the whole of today. But still, I ended going clubbing even though I didn't want to.

And so, I ended up at Zouk. Frank and his friends didn't like Phuture so I went to look for my favourite slut, Mr Eugene-Eric plus Jason, Mel and Amos. And I managed to bump into Kim after not seeing her for like, a year! She's still so funky.

I have to say, I AM OLD. I pulled my calf muscles, twice!

I realised I wasn't the only SMU student there last night. Pretty rare to find anyone because its Week 12 and papers are due next week. But then I found 4 econs guys. We were like "F*** IE"!

Anyway was quite glad I've got some R&B to dance to. Because I really don't want to read Balance-of-Payments the whole night!

Alrights I shall get down with Keyne and Yeager now.

2007-03-22T01:13:00.000+08:00

I decided to forgive Chris since he made it up to me today. We met up for coffee before I had my psych class. Chatted a lil' of the past too. I'm glad he's doing pretty okay now. Anyway, he's this very down to earth guy. And I told him he was the one who motivated me to study well all these while after screwing up my first year at poly. And how time flies. It's been some 8 years already.

Anyway, JR, remember not to be late next time when you are meeting your daughters la!

Just got back home from Ice Cold Beer with Jas, Alvin and JR. We had wings, pizzas and Hoegaarden!

A good time to chill but I think I'm just trying to push IE as far away from reality as possible. :P

And I must say, I just can't get enough of Wu Zun! He is yummylicious!

Anyone noticed the big gigantic cameras at Orchard Road?

2007-03-21T01:40:00.000+08:00

It tickles me to hear "Way Back into Love (Demo Version)", the part where Hugh Grant says, "Just a bit louder, this song is intended for humans." And I think the lyrics is just beautiful.

I've been watching, but the stars refuse to shine.

Anyway was making my way home from school, it was drizzling when Suzi and I were walking to City Hall. And my dear Hougang friend smsed me to say its raining over in Hougang. I still act smart want to walk home, cos' there's no buses left. When I reached Hougang, it was raining like a bitch. :( My jeans were drenched and I was only protecting my lappie.

Anyway, I'm quite pissed off with Chris. Had I put more thoughts to the situations from the past, some 7 years back, to now, I should have already realised what kind of person he is. He had the cheek to reprimand me.

Haha, JR wants me to say that webcaming is fun. And that he bought new shaver and introduced it as a new toy on the webcam. And said that Jas thought it was a vibrator! Haha.

Anyway, about the rain. If I wasn't holding my lappie, I wouldn't mind walking under the pouring rain. It makes me think of Stefanie's 雨天。

站在十字路的交点该怎么走我却只想回头
除了你给的伞我再也没有
别的借口去拥有你的什么

牵手和分手来自同一双手
做回朋友我却悔恨不懂挽留

是否太晚路已走远我的眼眶泪太满走不回你身边

I procrastinated the whole day. I wanted to get to the bottom of Balance of Payments by today but I didn't. I ended doing anything but that. Though I was in school almost the whole day.

Sometimes it just gets so hard to want to carry on.

Somedays I just don't know what all these are for.

2007-03-19T23:37:00.000+08:00

Its a big load off my shoulder when I concluded my FIIM presentation today. Though I thought we could have room for improvement. And according to Harvey we weren't the worst, though we've got "China Handicap". But aiya, I just realised, sometimes karma is just too overrated. And that's what exactly CK and Suzi thinks, "F*** Karma!"

Oh talking about CK. HAHA. We were NELing it today when we talk about people having unique names. I said I had friends or heard of people named, "Shine, Dragon, Echo." And we started saying like what if we were called names like Exit, Emergency or as CK says, "Entrance". Her classic pickup line (haha, sorry girl this is too funny I just have to blog it down): "Hi I'm Entrance, would you like to enter?" IT SOUNDS SUPER WRONG!

Anyway, we were at Watson's intending to get Green Teas, but ended up buying hair dyes! She bought "Deep Purple" and I got myself "Blue Black". My mummy just dyed mine for me and it doesn't look very black leh.

I realised its a lot to read and study before I could embark on the literature survey for IE. :(

2007-03-18T23:09:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I think I'm pretty good with ignoring things. Like I think the problem doesn't exist as long as I don't talk about it. Maybe everyone else are like me.

Because these few days when I see my mum, I never talked about it. I just went on busying with my studying for quiz, and preparations for presentation.

SMU is like my second home now. Especially during the Week 11-14. It's unhealthy, this relationship with the GSRs and Library. We need to keep our distance when summer comes.

Thank goodness I could unwind last night. Met up with my officially longest long-lost friend, Andy and his sidekick Ahboy and a couple others. I won 20 kosong pratas by playing 9-ball with Andy. Haha. Thanks so much! And thanks for the rides, though you journeyed it from the West!

I hope my presentation goes well tomorrow. Because I pin a lot of hopes on it. Because its a freaking 35%.

2007-03-16T22:19:00.000+08:00

Ma, I love you.

I hope I can do more for you.

2007-03-16T17:20:00.000+08:00

Let me take a break.

CK and Suzi believe that I've reached a stage (from studying psychology) that anymore psychology will make me deranged!

But CK is very sweet. She made me happy just by showing me her handphone. :) Thanks girl! Haha. Like you said, men always settle for second best. HAHA. I am so mean. You know its only because of psychology right?

According to my psychology textbook definition of Love:
"In fact, love involves many elements: a feeling, a physiological upheaval, a desire for sexual union, a set of living and parenting arrangements, a sharing of resources (from bank accounts to friends), a mutual defense and caretaking pact, a merging of extended families, and more."

And as for Romantic Love (different from companionate love):
"...described as essentially passionate: "a wildly emotional state [in which] tender and sexual feelings, elation and pain, anxiety and relief, altruism and jealousy coexist in a confusion of feelings."

Love, you fickle thing. That's what I think. They come and they go.

Wah lau, CK still found time to club last night. You amazing thing.

I will just continue to listen to classical music (supplied by Suzi) and reading the textbook (supplied by Melvin). Thank you to the authors for making the past week of my life so "stimulating".